~

The day dragged on and Julian's feet hurt, but he followed his routine, trying not to think, not to fret. It was not the end of the world. It was really quite foolish, even. It was just a day. It did not have to mean anything.

Still, a part of his mind continued to remind him that he turned forty today. Forty and alone, he sighed.

Ezri and he had realized it would never work after a few weeks. They had never been truly serious. He ought to be grateful they had parted as friends.

Just friends. It was all he seemed destined to be, if that. The one chance he'd had, the one time he'd tried for permanence...

Garak had needed to return to his home world, he sternly reminded himself. It was his birthright and he had no right to gainsay him. Then he turned his attention back to the stubborn control panel that refused to budge.

No cases came in requiring his attention, nothing his nurse could not handle without him, so he kept on checking his medical sensors.

No one wished him a happy day and he tried not to feel hurt.

He reminded himself that Miles was on Earth, busy with his new job and his family. He reminded himself Kira was in no small amount of pain herself, burying herself with work, still trying to forget her lover long gone. He should not and did not expect anyone to give a hang that Julian Bashir had completed four decades of life. It was silly of him to expect gifts and acknowledgement like a small child.

Julian worked through lunch and, after long hours recalibrating every last medical sensor, he finally trudged to the Replimat for a late dinner, only to stop, stunned.

"Did you think I would forget?" asked Garak, beaming at him from behind the small cake and candle. "You once told me the significance of this particular birthday for humans."

Julian swallowed, feeling a very silly smile trying to burst forth.

"I... wasn't expecting this. You... er--"

"Yes, well. I may have my home back, such as it is, but that doesn't mean I can't leave it from time to time, now, does it?" His blue eyes gleamed.

"No. I suppose not," he managed to say through a dry mouth.

"Then come. Sit with me. We haven't shared dinner in far, far too long."

Julian hurried forward and allowed Garak to serve him.

The Cardassian had not forgotten him at all, despite their long separation. Soon a tray of his favourites was set before him, as well as a pot of fragrant tea. He breathed in the aroma and felt himself relax.

"Difficult day in the Infirmary, Doctor?"

"Oh. No, not really. Tedious, perhaps."

"Well, then you must let me help you unwind."

Julian leaned forward and another scent reached his nostrils... he had thought never to smell it again. It made him start to grow aroused.

"Is there something wrong?"

Julian blinked to find Garak studying him with a touch of uncertainty.

"Oh. No. Just... well... it's just I'd rather forgotten (murmur)."

Garak lifted a brow. "I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that last part, Julian."

To his surprise, the doctor grew scarlet, but he leaned forward when he waved his fingers to draw him in and heard the whispered words, "I said, I'd rather forgotten just how good you smell, Elim."

Garak stilled... or most of him stilled; one part of him began to perk up with interest. His smile became almost lascivious.

"I see. Well. The same could be said in reverse. In fact, I am quite looking forward to seeing if I still find the taste as pleasing as the scent."

Julian choked on his tea a little, but Garak merely beamed at him.

"Eat your cake, my dear doctor. I dare say you'll need the energy."

~

Julian slowly caught his breath, still feeling the delicious tingles of sensation running through him.

"Oh, Elim... I've missed you," he admitted with a sigh.

The familiar face slid into view now. The endearingly shy expression Garak always seemed to have after they made love, was in place.

With a slight grunt, his Cardassian lover carefully lay beside him. His tone was light, but sincere.

"My dear, you remain a delight. To all of my senses."

Julian grinned, a little shy, as well. Elim was rather more forthcoming in the bedroom than anywhere else, but only in this regard. Still, he had to admit that it made him feel special.

"I've really missed you."

Garak sighed.

"And I, you, my dear."

"I never expected to see you. Not today."

"Or at all?"

Julian turned to him.

"I don't know. You never did say."

"You never did ask."

He stilled, then laid his smooth brown palm on that scaled chest and waited until Garak looked at him.

"I didn't want to presume. But I wanted to ask... to be selfish, more than anything I've wanted before."

Elim laid his own hand atop Julian's, and looked straight up at the ceiling.

"It is not considered presumption when the lungs seek breath."

Julian frowned and Elim turned his face again to look at his lover. The expression in his eyes was sadder and sweeter than he had ever seen.

"This last year, for the first time in my life, I realized I need more than duty. I've been working on instinct, which has served well, but... there was something lacking."

"Elim..."

"I needed you, dear Julian," Garak softly admitted now. "As much as my next breath, perhaps more. I have been struggling for air since I returned to Cardassia, much as everyone, but it was not the dust. I could scarcely breathe on the freighters that conveyed me to DS9. I did not feel I could draw a full breath until I saw you again."

"Dear Elim..." He did not know what else to say. Cardassians were not terribly demonstrative by nature, and this man, was less even, than most. He did not want to make him uncomfortable, nor did he want to say the wrong thing.

He watched now as Garak collected himself in the silence. His smile, as well as his tone, was light and self-deprecating.

"Well, anyway. I trust it has been the happiest of birthdays, my dear. I hope my presence makes up for the paucity of my gift."

Julian considered the data rod he had been given, full of rare Cardassian novels, priceless now in the aftermath of the planetwide devastation wrought by war, and he swallowed, finally finding the words.

"Elim... your presence is a gift. The best you could ever give me. It always has been."

The blue eyes looked startled, and then assessed him, and Julian merely smiled and let his own steadfast feelings show.

That blue gaze softened, then a hint of lasciviousness appeared in that smile.

"Under the circumstances, then, perhaps it would be wise for you to make full use of your gift, my dear doctor, while you can."

Julian slid closer still, and the hand he still had on Elim's chest began to slowly slide down. His own smile had become somewhat predatory.

"Oh, believe me, my dear Elim... I intend to."

~

completed: 28 Aug 2007

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