Exclusive Engagement
by
Rating: PG
Characters: Snape, Rita Skeeter
Word Count: 1,166
Disclaimer: All the characters are Rowling's. The situations they're in are mine. No profit was made.
Summary: Severus may go mad in Azkaban, but he'll make sure to take someone with him...
"It's only a matter of time, you know."
Silence met this.
"I'll get something."
"Hopefully something unsightly and publicly embarrassing."
Rita's eyes narrowed, as she took in prisoner H-288, otherwise known as Severus Snape.
"I could just make up things, you know."
"I was under the impression that was how you garnered most of your so-called exclusives."
Skeeter moved closer to the cell's barred door.
"You don't fool me. I know that would bother you. Eat at you."
Gleaming black eyes looked over at her through the disheveled strands of shiny black hair.
"I wasn't the one who spent time trapped in a jar by a fourth year student."
Blue eyes flashed with anger, quickly stemmed. Her smile grew very nasty, indeed.
"I'm not the one in prison for 5 years for being the Merciful Murderer."
Snape's own lips curled. "It was euthanasia. It was your rag that gave me that moniker."
"Sold a lot of papers. And it was a mercy killing, hence the name. How does it feel being known as the Merciful Murderer?"
"How does it feel being a bug?"
She studied him. "Do you have an animagus form?"
"You can check at the Animagus Registration Office as well as anyone."
"Ah, but maybe you've got one that's off the records."
"I'd have no reason to divulge that information if I did."
She sighed and ran her finger over her lip.
"So. Murderer, Death Eater, double agent with possibly a secret animagus form..."
"You forgot my conspiracy charge."
"Exactly how many crimes have you committed, Severus?"
He smiled thinly. "More than I care to remember."
"Do tell."
"I see no benefit in so doing."
She leaned back, considering this now.
"The Prophet could pay you for an exclusive. I'm sure I could convince my editor to be generous."
"I've no need for money."
She looked around.
"There's not much to do."
"Lucky for me, I've been in need of a long rest."
"No Dementors around."
"A pity. I'm sure they could offer you hair and make-up tips."
Her face twitched.
"You've no assigned work duties."
"I enjoy peace and quiet. At least I was enjoying it until you arrived."
"I imagine you must get... bored."
"Only when I'm speaking to nosy journalists."
"There's something, Snape. Something that will make you spill every secret to me."
"It's called Veritaserum and you aren't allowed to give me anything to eat or drink, so it's a waste of time hinting you will."
"I've never used it and can't imagine I'd need to. Every person has a soft spot, a weakness I can eventually find to worm my way inside."
"I thought your Animagus form was a beetle, not a worm, but how apropos."
Before she could respond, a clattering sound drifted down the long hall, followed by the sound of footsteps. A heavy-set guard glanced in at Snape, before looking to Skeeter.
"Your time is up."
"I'll be back next week, Severus."
"I can hardly wait," he grated sourly.
"Not to worry. I'll keep coming back until I get all the dirt."
She smiled sweetly at him and waved her fingers as she walked away with the guard.
Snape watched her go, then reached up to the single shelf above him and pulled down a small bit of parchment and a worn and battered self-inking quill.
He could not truly complain. He was fed three times a day, allowed out of his cell for exercise for one hour every morning, allowed access to a bath and the cell walls were so thick the interior was naturally temperature-controlled. It was almost always 18c, year round, so he was rarely hot or cold.
The only thing that irked him was the Ministry's, in his opinion, petty restriction not allowing him access to reading material of any kind. The Minister had stated, and the Wizengamot agreed, that they wanted him to reflect on his deeds, not read about others'.
No one visited him or was allowed to other than legal counselours and the media and then only for one hour at a time, and he was allowed to send only one single page of correspondence per week.
Severus had been almost positive he'd go mad.
An hour later, the clattering sound was heard again and more footsteps. The same guard returned to scowl at Snape as he unlocked and unwarded the small metal plate on one side of the door and slid a tray of food in and onto the small metal counter inside the cell. As he relocked it and set the ward back in place, he spoke.
"That one earlier -- looker blonde all tarted up. She your doxie?"
Snape studied him, aware the guards were mostly ignorant of anything but the general prison rules.
"She's far more important than that," he essayed.
The guard snorted. "That'll change as soon as you get out of here. Any correspondence?"
Snape handed him the rolled up parchment through the bars on the door, and tucked into his food.
"Remember, this gets read."
"I'm aware of that. There's nothing there of import to anyone but me."
The guard nodded and left.
Dear Minerva,
I appreciate your continuing inquiries as to my health and well-being. Rest assured I am fed three times a day, permitted exercise for at least an hour each day and, aside from the fact I am not allowed access to reading material with the exception of your kind letters, I truly have no complaints.
I also wish to thank you for having contacted the Prophet on my behalf. Ms. Skeeter has been interviewing me, in the hopes of publishing a future piece about my crimes. It might take a very long time indeed, but she has stated her intentions to continue her weekly visits as she garners more information about my case.
Her visits have also been of great help in my efforts at rehabilitation. Indeed, I feel her presence and inquisitive nature may well be the very thing to assist me as I reflect on my deeds. It may not be pleasant, but it's the least I can do.
Most sincerely,
S.S.
A few days later, the clattering sound woke Snape from a doze and he looked up to find the guard leading Rita Skeeter once again to his cell.
"A bit early, aren't we?"
She smiled a nasty, toothy smile at him and said cheerfully, "The Ministry has decided I can visit you twice a week now."
"Have they?"
"Yes. Lucky me." She smiled at the guard who walked away, and then dug into her pocket for pad and quill. "Now I can wear you down that much faster. Don't think I won't. I know where a story is and I won't stop digging until I get it. I can keep coming like this for years."
Severus said nothing, sitting up and stretching slightly, turning his head this way and that to work out the kinks.
As he turned his face away from her, though, Snape smiled.
~ FIN ~
written and posted 9 Dec 2006