I Still Do
by
Date: 18 June 2007
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Remus Lupin, Severus Snape
Word Count: 1,900
Warnings: highlight between brackets if you prefer story warnings: [angst, emo ocd, rimming, sub!Remus, warm fuzzies]
Disclaimer: All the characters are Rowling's. The situations they're in are mine. No profit was made.
Summary: An unseen moment from the 5th film...
Authors notes: This was written for the lovely ebonlock's birthday. :) With thanks to chazpure and _lore for their beta. Any remaining errors are my own.
"Would you stop that?"
Remus flushed and closed the magazine. "I'm sorry, Severus, but even you have to admit the likeness is remarkable."
Snape scowled. "I saw nothing that resembles me even remotely."
Lupin sighed. "The young man is beautiful. He's got lovely black hair, sexy dark eyes, a trim body and a gorgeous co--"
"Like I said," Snape practically growled, moving to get up. "Nothing that resembles me even remotely. Moreover, I'm offended that you are so taken with some exhibitionist young prick on the basis of such shallow considerations. No wonder you never paid attention to me when I was actually that age! It's a wonder you do now!"
Before Remus could say anything, Snape had stormed out of their living room and up the stairs. The lights in the room flickered as he passed, indication of his tenuous control over his emotions and magic.
Remus frowned, uncertain. If he went up to talk with him, to try and reason with Severus, it might make things worse. It almost certainly would make them worse to start, because he would have to get past Snape's instinctive and finely-honed defensive tactics. Remus had only ever attempted to reason Severus out of a rage once and never again in their longstanding relationship. Now he sighed.
Lupin went back over their discussion, even lifting up the Muggle magazine to study the handsome young lad showing off all his assets. He'd seen it lying in a rubbish bin on the way home and picked it up, shocked because he'd initially believed the image to be a young Severus. A closer look made him realize it was simply a young and remarkable look-alike.
Remus had brought it home in the hopes of making his life mate smile. Severus had been dealing with a filthy head cold and was only recently feeling better. He thought the magazine would be amusing, but he'd been wrong. Snape had scowled and been disgusted - not at the pornography, but at the very thought that he might be considered in such a way.
Remus frowned and thought back to what Severus had said. No wonder you never paid attention to me...
He leapt up, his stomach clenched with concern. No. Best he go up there right now and try to find words that would reach his overly sensitive lover.
The door to their bedroom was closed, but not locked. There was no response to his quiet knock, so Remus opened it, but Severus was not in the room.
He noted then the light coming from the slightly open door to their bathroom. Moving closer, he could hear something that almost sounded like chanting. Intrigued, he moved closer and put his ear to the slightly open door.
"You know better. It's always been this way. It always will be."
Remus frowned as he heard Severus say this again and again. His voice was tight and hoarse and fierce. It grew even fiercer as his breath grew ragged, and Remus recognized the sound of his partner's anguish.
"You know better. It's always been this way. It always will be."
Lupin opened the door and looked on his partner's reddened face in the mirror, where he was standing in front of the sink. Those strong and graceful fingers suddenly clutched at the marble so tightly he half-expected it to crack as their gazes met.
Snape drew in another ragged breath, eyes filling with furious tears, and he spoke with loathing, as if daring Lupin to contradict him.
"You know better. It's always been this way. It ... always will be!"
Remus's mouth closed. He'd intended to say something, but he knew words would be useless when Severus was in this self-deprecating frame of mind.
Being harsh with himself had helped him keep his secrets during the war years, helped him stay alive, but it was hard now for Snape not to fall back into old habits that were no longer useful in peace time.
Remus said nothing, merely watched his glowering mate in the mirror. Then, acting on instinct, Remus stepped into the room, and to both their shock, knelt directly behind his life mate, instead.
Snape looked uncertain, but did not let go of the sink to turn around. He was still trembling with pent-up emotion.
Remus embraced those long legs from behind, pushing his cheek to that fine arse currently covered with only a robe.
Snape trembled.
Remus let him go and lifted that robe with slow deliberation.
Snape tensed.
Remus moved in as Severus's arse was revealed to him and, sniffing deeply, he filled his senses with the intimate scent of his partner and felt himself go hard. Without further thought, he gently held open those cheeks and pushed his tongue in, sliding it from perineum up to the top, again and again.
Snape gasped.
Remus kept licking him, laving him with his long tongue, reveling in the aroma of his partner. When he paused in his ministrations, he could scent the arousal as well as his mate's curiousity. He dipped his head to sniff at Severus's bollocks, and then moved his hand forward, grasping the tender flesh and pulling them back so he could lick at them as well..
Snape shuddered.
Remus pulled back and turned Severus around with trembling hands. He looked up at his beloved mate and then ripped at his own clothing, tearing his trousers in his haste to get them out of the way. Once his arse was free he bent down, prostrating himself before Severus, offering himself shamelessly.
"R-remus..." Severus was troubled; his partner's completely selfless nature occasionally rattled him, particularly in situations like this one.
"Now! Take me!"
"I..." Severus hesitated.
Remus groaned and whined and, kneeling up, he reached between his own legs to his hugely swollen cock. He stroked once, twice and shouted as he began to come, catching it with his other hand. Still without turning, he applied that hand to his anus, coating his opening, and then, laying his head down to his own arms again, thrust his hips up to his mate.
Severus felt his own arousal surge as he viewed the sight of Remus presenting himself so openly.
"Please, Severus. Please. Your cock. Your fingers. Your fist. Anything!"
The noise from behind Remus sounded like a bitten-off sob, but he did not bother to turn. He wanted his mate buried deep within him and would accept nothing less.
He gasped when a warm hand touched his low back and arched his hips up even higher. He heard Severus spit and then felt another hand join the first, holding him by the hips.
"Yes!"
It was with agonizing slowness that Severus worked his way inside him. Remus groaned again, bucking, and sighed with relief as that beautiful cock slid all the way in.
Severus closed his eyes as he sank in. It was warm and moist and always, always, inviting.
"Oh, yes, Severus. Please, love. Fuck me."
The indrawn breath behind Remus was ragged, but the movements were smooth as his mate began to do just that, slowly building up speed until he was thrusting hard, skin slapping skin, Remus feeling himself beginning to harden once more.
Severus shifted slightly, and suddenly Remus felt the head of that beautiful prick rub his prostate as his partner thrust. His cock went fully hard and those hands on his hips clenched painfully tight as Severus began a series of rapid, jabbing thrusts, each one sending a spark of need through Remus.
Suddenly, Severus ground his hips into Remus, balls deep, as he let out a bitten-off cry. Lupin could feel the contractions and hear Snape's low moans as he came.
Some moments later, Severus released him, pulling out and back. Then there was silence.
Remus quivered, feeling his own passion lowering to a simmer, still uncomfortably hard as he finally turned.
Severus was sitting on the floor, arms on his upraised knees, leaning against the wall, clearly still catching his breath. His expression was best described as shaken.
Remus moved toward him on all fours, ignoring his many creaking joints. When he got close enough, he laid his head to Snape's knees in clear submission.
"I'm so sorry, Severus. I'm so sorry."
He felt a hand on his head and moved his head to press his cheek to those knees, letting the hand touch his face.
"You've nothing to be sorry for," was the quiet rejoinder.
"Yes. I hurt you. I didn't want to. I didn't mean to."
Snape sighed. There was a long silence before he spoke.
"It's hardly your fault. Why wouldn't you be attracted to a comely young man? He's everything I'm not. He's young and fit and lean and well favoured. You'd be a fool not to notice."
"I wasn't interested in him, love. Except insofar as I thought he was you, at first. That's why I brought that magazine home. I said 'Remind you of anyone?' Remember?"
There was a silence and he had to strain to hear Snape's quiet voice.
"I... thought you meant me to notice how... shabby and pathetic I've become."
Lupin tensed, and then lifted his head up to look at his mate.
"Never. I would never say such a thing nor imply it. How could I? We've both changed, Severus. Time has its way with us all."
Snape sighed. "Some of us never had the pleasure of a golden youth. Even when I was younger and fitter, I never had anyone look at me the way you were looking at that nude model."
"You're awfully sure of that."
"I think I'd remember."
"Maybe. Maybe not if the person who was doing the looking happened to be in the branches of a certain old beech tree, hoping to see you without being seen. Knowing you liked to sit there on warm days and read. Growing hard at the mere sight of you. Wanting to come at the scent of you on the air. Hoping to be able to wank over you without getting caught by anyone. Biting his inner cheek so hard to not make a sound as he ejaculated that he had to get Madam Pomfrey to seal the wound closed later... after he'd washed up the evidence of his indiscretions."
Snape's black eyes studied him. Remus had grown even thicker and harder as he spoke, and he could not hide it, still bare below the waist.
"It's true, Severus. I paid attention. I paid a lot of attention. I still do."
"Remus..."
"I didn't dare approach you. I thought you'd be disgusted. I was poor and a werewolf and Gryffindor to boot. I had no idea you were a half-blood. I had no idea you came from a similar background. All I could think was you were Slytherin and clever and striking and probably straight as a stick."
"I wish you had. So many things could have been different."
"Yes. My friends would have ostracized me. You would have been tormented by your own crowd for being a poofter. We'd have been the laughing stock and come to despise each other for our lowered circumstances."
"No, you fool," Snape said without real heat. "Slytherin, remember? We know the meaning of the word 'circumspect'. We would have been careful and it would have been... glorious."
"Well, who's to say what it would have been? I don't rightly care. I'm just bloody grateful for what we have now," Remus admitted, adding, "Speaking of now -- if you don't take me into our bedroom and help me come, I'm going to have to do something bloody desperate."
Severus nearly smiled, but instead began to lever himself up. He extended a hand to Remus and led them both to the bedroom and the bed.
There he helped Remus avoid doing something desperate, and instead, helped him do something delicious, and delightful, and entirely divine.
~END~
~ FIN ~
Posted: 18 June 2007