Surrender
by Dorian Gray
Note:  Takes place after "Call to Arm", before the season premiere

	Kira painfully opened her eyes.  It seemed like she never took a 
day off anymore, always trying to keep track of Dukat and that damned 
Vorta.  Unfortunately, the hours were starting to get to her.  She 
rolled out of bed, and walked shakily to the replicator.

	"One raktajino, 2 measures of kava," she croaked, her voice 
sounding very low and scratchy.  

	It was her own fault she supposed.  She'd been drinking scotch, 
instead of the usual synthale.  A terran drink certainly, but still, it 
had a good drowning quality.  The bottle had been found in O'Brien's 
quarters.  All Starfleet had been forced to leave the station, with 
little time to pack, and she'd decided to keep it instead of turning it 
in to security, as the other lost items were.  At the time she'd taken 
it, everything had been fine.  Well, not fine, considering there were 
Cardassians on Deep Space Nine, once again called Terok Nor, however, 
she was on a rise in her personal relationship with Constable Odo.  
That, was more than a month ago.  He could handle the new part of their 
relationship, the secret he'd kept for over 4 years, told by his older 
changeling counterpart to Kira.  They'd agreed to put dating on hold 
until the Dominion threat was over, but Kira had never been very good at 
patience.  Every time she looked at him, her heart was twisted in two.  
The love in his eyes was so clear, so adoring, so undeniable.  And she'd 
decided it was too soon.  Her body disagreed, violently, so she'd begun 
to distance herself from him, if only to salvage what was left of their 
alliance amid chaos.  He translated this as, her having made up her 
mind, against any romantic feelings, and apparently, she wasn't 
interested in what was left of their friendship either.  So he'd done 
the kindest thing he could, run.  He'd avoided her like a terminal 
disease.  It was obvious to her.  Odo had changed his mind.  Maybe he 
got sick of waiting.  Or maybe he'd decided he liked someone else.  It 
didn't matter.  And that was how she came to be pulling on her uniform, 
with a headache that felt like someone was hitting her over the head 
with a mallet.  Wishing there was still the option of calling in sick, 
she tramped down to ops, her boots ringing on the floor with each forced 
step.  

	"Good morning Major!"  Dukat stepped out of his office, with a 
smile on his face Kira was tempted to punch off.

	"What is it Dukat?  Unless you're going to tell me the Cardassians 
are pulling out and the Dominion has decided it's time to go home, go 
away."

	"Your wit is always the highlight of my day.  You know, I'm glad 
we're becoming such good friends.  Can I call you Nerys?"

	Kira looked up from her terminal, eyes blazing, as she made a poor 
attempt to control her voice, "If you so much as DARE to call me 
anything other than major, I'll be shipping you back to Cardassia in a 
box.  I don't know what gods you have, but I doubt they like you."

	"Tut tut Major, your hostility puts people off.  No wonder no one 
wants you." Dukat was many things, but dumb wasn't one of them.  He 
wasn't sure why Odo had been hiding from Kira, but it couldn't have been 
coincidental.

	His words struck home, but she chose to ignore him, burying 
herself in the data running across her screen.  So what if she'd ruined 
the only good thing she'd had?  It wasn't her fault.  Better to be alone 
than involved in a relationship that could be a weakness.  And it would 
be, she knew.  Or at least, she convinced herself of that.  If the 
Cardassians found out, they could be separated to gain information, or 
any number of things.  But more significantly, if they were together, 
and one of them died, Kira knew she would never be able to take the 
pain.

	***

	Odo rose from yet another restless regeneration period.  Sure, he 
didn't have insomnia like humans, but this was similar.  Relaxing was 
nearly impossible, so long as she hated him.  Perhaps he'd made the 
break complete, but she was the one who'd initiated the  hostility.  It 
had been her practice to invite him to lunch twice a week, with a 
sporadic breakfast.  In the beginning, he'd happily contemplated this 
was like a romantic encounter.  Sure, he'd agreed to put the 
relationship on hold, but that didn't mean he wanted to.  Eventually, he 
let his cynical mind take over, and he realized she would have done this 
with anyone.  He wasn't very good at relationships, even if he could 
read her like a book.  This was just friendly, and they wouldn't have 
even have had to be friends for this to happen.  During his long time 
with solids, he had found they did not like to eat alone.  Most of them 
in fact did not like to be alone at all.  And so, she had taken him as a 
lunch companion.  Who else was there?  A Jem'hadar?  Somehow he doubted 
their table manners would appeal to Kira.  

	Of course he didn't let this get him down, after getting used to 
the fact.  Making her happy was the most important thing.  Until one day 
she cancelled lunch.  Then breakfast.  They'd still meet once in awhile, 
but despite his best efforts to calm her, and act nonchalant, she 
remained tense and quiet, bolting at the first opportunity.    It was 
only practical and deserving that he do the same thing to her.  They 
went through an entire Wednesday lunch in fearful silence.  

	That incident roamed through his head over and over as he 
approached the mirror to carefully inspect his human form for flaws.  It 
was just routine these days.  He'd kept this shape for so long, it was 
almost effortless, and the time between regeneration periods was 
lengthening.  

	Odo walked out of his quarters, and through the habitat ring, to 
the quiet promenade.  He observed it carefully, with a thoroughness a 
humanoid would not be able to achieve.  There wasn't as much work to do 
these days.  Occasionally he would put drunken Cardassians in the brig, 
or break up one of their fights, but the Jem'hadar, more violent than 
any other species Odo had encountered, were no trouble.  If he appeared 
on the scene, any sort of unlawful action would cease, and if he gave an 
order, it was immediately followed, without question or protest.  He 
almost missed the old brawls at Quark's.  Almost.  His prime directives 
were quiet and calm.  

	Stepping into the office, Odo grabbed the security reports from 
the previous day.  As much as going through opps hurt him, they had to 
be delivered.  Jem'hadar stood at attention as he passed, and he gave 
them a curt nod.  Thankfully, Kira was engrossed in her work, or 
pretending to be, and he sped by, walking up to Dukat's office.

	"Ah, Odo!  Do come in."

	"I have yesterday's reports for you sir."

	Dukat smiled.  Not a pleasant sight to most life forms, with about 
as much warmth as a terran cobra.  "I've said it before, and I'll say it 
again.  It's so nice to have you back Odo.  No one has ever been as good 
a security officer as you.  But why do you still wear that ridiculous 
Bajoran uniform?  Take authority seriously, Bajorans aren't in charge 
here."

	Odo allowed himself to make a more cutting remark, attempting to 
keep the smirk off his face,  "If I didn't wear this uniform Dukat, I'd 
be YOUR superior.  Be happy I prefer to show which party I believe in."

	Dukat allowed the comment to pass.  If Odo had been Cardassian, he 
would have killed him on basic principle.  However, as it was, if he so 
much as laid a finger on his protoplasm, he wouldn't live 15 seconds 
after capture.  Someday, he thought, he was going to get back at Kira 
and Odo for spiting him.  Their insolence made them deserving targets.  
Not today, not tomorrow, but he promised himself they'd get their due.

	Leaving without so much as an acknowledgement, Odo went back on 
patrol, heading first to Quark's, the best place for trouble on Terok 
Nor.  He and Quark had been on the station longer than anyone, but their 
public faces hadn't changed since the day they'd met.  Any sense of 
familiarity or trust was never spoken of, and only exhibited on rare 
occasions.  This was one of them.

	"You're the only two Bajorans on the station, and you can't get 
along!" Quark practically screeched.  "What's wrong with you people?!"

	"She doesn't want to see me.  Nothing to do about it except live 
with it," Odo grumbled.

	"You're lucky it's a Dominion station now.  If it was still Deep 
Space 9, one of the senior staff would have killed you two by now."

	"Quark, I've accepted her not liking me.  Now lower your voice, 
before the whole station hears you."

	"You're a fool constable.  I just hope you two come to your senses 
before I have to start taking bets on whether or not you two will 
realize the truth before death."

	"It's over before it started.  That's the only truth."

	"Whatever you say Odo.  Now, if you'll excuse me I have stock to 
count."

	Odo grunted and left, even more depressed than when he came in.  
If that was even possible.

	***

	Kira looked up, relieved at Dukat's passing, and asked the 
computer what time it was.

	"The time is 1200 hours," the monotonous female voice replied.

	She tried to think of a reason to stay in ops.  Some mysterious 
problem, a ship docking, anything.  But all was quiet.  She found 
amusing how this was the one time everything was working.  Normally, 
half the equipment was on the blink at once.  The Cardies had gotten rid 
of the Federation machinery, but had done a bad job replacing it, so you 
never knew when a system would crash.  She missed O'Brien, and his lusty 
swearing at bloody Cardie technology.  And Sisko, and Dax.  Hell, she 
missed any person wearing a Starfleet or Bajoran uniform.  But 
especially Dax.  Though she hated receiving advice on her problems, she 
desperately needed someone to tell her what to do about Odo.  Those 
extra 300 years of experience did count for something.

	She passed by Odo's office on the way to Quark's.  Peering in, she 
saw him working diligently on his reports.  His beautiful hands writing 
data into a pad.  Those damned reports.  She remembered when they used 
to go over them on Tuesday mornings.  When they actually enjoyed each 
other's company.  Sighing dejectedly, she turned her head, and kept 
walking.  She desperately needed a drink.  Several drinks in fact.  She 
still had a headache from the scotch, but she'd do anything to get her 
mind off him.

	"Good afternoon Major!  How are you today?  Looking as lovely as 
ever of course.."

	"Cut the crap Quark.  I am not in the mood for small talk.  But a 
Romulan ale would be appreciated."

	"I'm afraid that isn't possible major," Quark practically 
whispered.

	"What?!  I can see the bottle right up there!"

	Quark sighed, but shook his head with determination. "Synthale is 
the best I can give you."

	Kira leaned forward, as if preparing to give him a sharp blow to 
the head.  Her voice was low, practically a growl.  "You better change 
your mind Quark.  I'm in a rather violent mood."

	Quark bit his lip, thinking a moment, and opened the comm link.  
"Quark to Security.  Odo, please come see to Major Kira.  She's a bit 
upset, and possibly intoxicated.  I daresay she's made some nasty 
threats."

	"Probably for good reason," Odo harrumphed.

	"Constable!" Quark practically pleaded.

	"Alright, on my way, but this had better not be one of your 
pranks.  Odo out."

	Quark looked at her, once again completely calm, and spoke, "This 
is all I'm going to do to help you two.  I happen to enjoy living"

	Any comment Kira might have made was cut short as Odo appeared.

	"Alright Quark, she doesn't appear hostile to me.  What did she 
do?"

	"She started to become violent after I refused to give her Romulan 
ale."

	Odo glanced at Kira, almost asked what had caused her to demand 
real alcohol in the middle of the day.  She never drank unless she was 
upset.  He caught himself just in time.  They weren't even friends, it 
wasn't his business.  And that didn't have anything to do with Quark's 
refusing to give her the drink.  Or did it?

	"Why did you refuse to give her the drink?"

	"She doesn't need it, and it won't do her any good.  I'm not going 
to steal latinum from a vulnerable woman.  Solace should be offered from 
a friend, not a bottle."  He gives Odo a *look*.

	"I'm glad I came just to hear you break a rule of acquisition"  
Odo turns to Kira, "Major, it is a private bar, and he has a right not 
to serve you alcohol if he feels like it.  I'm afraid there's nothing I 
can do for either side, as neither of you has been harmed."

	Kira sighed, nodding.  "You're right.  Sorry Quark, been a bad 
day."  Under her breath, "Always a bad day recently."  She inclined her 
head to Odo, and practically ran from the bar.

	"Well," Quark asked.  "Aren't you going to follow her?"

	"Like I said Quark, she hasn't harmed you.  There's no way to file 
charges."

	Quark practically slapped him.  "Not for that!  Find out what's 
wrong!  Be that friend person she needs so much.  Profits, I sound like 
a hu-mon!"  He shook his head in disgust, and turned his back to Odo, 
calmly washing glasses.

	Pondering his next move, Odo walked back to his office.  She was 
acting so strangely. For a moment, he turned towards the turbolift but 
stopped.  He'd been chasing after her all this time.  She'd run away 
from him.  It was time to stop putting all this effort into her comfort.  
If she wanted something, she'd have to come to him.

	***

	Kira stood in her quarters, breathing hard.  She didn't know what 
to do.  She didn't know what she wanted.  Well, yes she did, Odo.  Odo 
touching her, kissing her, running all over her body like a blanket.  
Little too late for that!  Well, it was certainly another fun encounter 
to add to her list of bad experiences with love.  Except this had never 
happened.  The timing was off.  If only she'd known sooner.  Yes, it was 
his fault on that one.  He never had the guts to tell her.  His older 
counterpart had.  Her mind was racing, trying to put fault on anyone but 
herself, herself and her petty fears.  But in the end it was all the 
same.  Her long denial had destroyed the fate that had killed all those 
people.  She had lived for a reason, only to refuse the choice of the 
prophets.  They would be angry.  

	There was a beep on her communicator.  "Weyoun to Major Kira"

	"Kira here, what do you want?"  There was surprise in her voice.  
The Vorta never saw reason to speak with her.

	"You will come to Docking Bay 1 immediately.  A founder is 
approaching the station." 

	"That's considered important?"  Sarcasm practically dripped from 
her.

	"The founders do not take well to disrespect.  Appearance is 
mandatory."

	"Wild horses couldn't stop me.  Kira out."

	***

	She ran into Odo just outside the docking bay, and they waited 
patiently in the background as Dukat and Weyoun went to greet the 
changeling.  It was her, that bitch of a speaker.  What was she doing 
here?

	The founder stepped towards them, her face surprisingly pleasant.  
"Greetings Odo, Major.  Congratulations on regaining your shapeshifting 
abilities Odo."

	"You will not be taking them away again?"  His voice was 
suspicious, having been burned before.

	"Certainly not.  It wouldn't do to have our closest link in the 
alpha quadrant overseen by mere solids.  We sent you that defective 
changeling, knowing the inevitable outcome."

	Odo fought the rage building inside him with each word the found 
said.  She made it sound so ordinary, like it was a common procedure.  
"How can you do that with one of your own?  That wasn't a solid, it was 
a baby changeling.  It had a millennia to live!"

	"It was going to die Odo."  There was no remorse in her voice, or 
any sign of anger at his shouting.  "Losing one baby is just another 
calculated risk.  I should think you, and the Major, would both be well 
educated in such things."

	"Are you sure it was going to die?!  Or did you give it the virus 
yourself?"

	"It was a gift to you Odo.  Ask no more questions, I will give you 
no more answers."  She walked down the hall, closely followed by 
Jem'hadar.  

	Odo stood there, dumfounded for a straight minute, simply staring 
at his hands, where the baby changeling had entered his body.

	Kira couldn't help herself.  He was so vulnerable, and if there 
was one thing Kira could understand, it was the loss of family.  Softly, 
at almost a whisper, she spoke to him, "I'm so sorry Odo.  They're 
unfeeling and inhumane.  So different from you..."

	He slumped against the wall, head held in his hands.  "No, exactly 
the same."

	"How can you say that?!" 

	"Like I said, I'm the same.  I sacrificed 8,000 people so that you 
could live.  The same as they killed the changeling, so I would continue 
to exist.  Only, what I did was worse."

	Kira knelt down beside him, placing her hand underneath his chin, 
forcing him to look at her.  "Don't ever think that Odo.  That was your 
counterpart, not you.  And even if it was you, even if you might have 
stopped him, why should you feel guilty for giving me the greatest gift 
one person could give to another?"

	"You certainly seemed upset by that so called *gift*."

	Sighing, Kira sat next to him, eyes bright with unshed tears.  
"Dammit Odo, I was stupid.  I've been stupid about so many things, and 
by far the worst was my love for you."

	"Your.. what?"

	"My love.  My deep, gut wrenchingly obsessive love for you.  There 
I've said it.  Lots of good it'll do me, this far in the game."

	Odo just grew quieter, and giving up any chance of getting out 
alive, Kira went on.  "I know you hate me now.  I've certainly earned 
that.  My life has been spent clinging to petty liaisons that never 
worked but were astoundingly convenient.  I've killed myself by fighting 
battles that could only be won by surrender.  And though it earns me 
nothing, I'll do that now.  I surrender myself to you Odo.  My heart and 
soul are at your feet, awaiting verdict."

	He turned towards Kira, and took her hand, gently kissing the 
knuckles.  "I love you Major, and I find you innocent on all counts, but 
that doesn't change our problem."

	"What's that?"

	"People are staring"  

	And it was true.  They kept getting curious looks from various 
Cardassian personnel walking through the hallway, and the Jem'hadar were 
beginning to gather, not liking the undignified state of a founder on 
the floor.

	"Perhaps my quarters would be a better place to continue this 
conversation?"  Kira asked?

	"I thought you'd never ask."

	"To be honest, neither did I."  

	The truth, finally out, Odo and Kira walked without nervous 
conversation, arms linked.  When they reached her quarters, no words or 
explanations were uttered.  Odo took Kira in his arms, softly stroking 
her cheek as their lips slowly met.  Sparks flew between them, and it 
was only after their joining that the words were uttered together.

	"I love you Kira Nerys."

	"I love you, too, Odo."


* fin *

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