Present Reality
by Fliss Carthew

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His love was reaching, an invisible hand, pulling me through. His love was reaching, touching my life in more ways than I ever knew.

--David Meece (Candle in the rain)

The Bajoran crouched in the jungle, sweat dripping into her eyes, muscles tense and sore. A twig snapped in the nearby brush, but she didn't move, waiting with the patience of a hunting animal for is prey. Finally, another figure stepped warily out of the thick foliage into the small clearing straight in front of the Bajoran. He was tall and wiry, with dark clothing that was perfect for hiding in deep dark jungles with. Unfortunately, he had made the fatal error of underestimating his opponent, and a split second later, was flat on his back with Kira Nerys kneeling on his chest, grinning.

"Strike three; You're out." Major Kira, fresh from her short stay in the Infirmary where she'd had the O'Briens baby, was intent on making up for lost training time during her pregnancy, and had enlisted the help of her oldest and dearest friend on the station: Security Chief Odo.

"Your recent.....confinement hasn't dulled your battle skills one iota, Major. I don't know why you were so worried about it." Odo stood and brushed himself down as Kira help him to his feet. "Now, can we please leave the holosuites and go get some food? I'm starving."

Kira laughed as they walked out the door and into the most infamous bar this side of Betelgeuse. Quark had worked long and hard to achieve his reputation of owning the one place in the universe where any could be guaranteed to be able to buy anything their heart desired--for a price, of course. He might have been thrown out of the Ferengi Alliance, but he was still a philanthropist at heart, and he also recognised a good opportunity when he saw one. Two hungry people were definitely in that particular category, so he scuttled up the stairs and motioned Kira and Odo towards one of his quieter tables.

"Now, what can I get my two favourite customers?" The little man smiled toothily at them, and Nerys suppressed a distant shudder.

"Enough of the chit-chat Quark, and we'll have two plates of Hasperat, a glass of Bajoran spring wine each, and some double-whipped Idanian spiced pudding." Odo glared at the Ferengi, but his heart wasn't in it anymore.

Since becoming a Humanoid, the former Changeling had discovered many things, some as experiences both good and bad, and some simply as desires, like his new-found enjoyment of good food and wine, the discovery that after a hard day a good nights sleep was as rewarding as solving a difficult case, and his still-present love for the woman pposite him. Odo had managed recently to start covering up his feelings by becoming even more sarcastic than ever, although Kira like everyone else simply assumed he was continuing to adjust to his new lifestyle as a solid.

As Quark rushed away, Nerys watched Odo with a look of both amusement and understanding. She knew how the ex-Changeling felt about the bar owner, and that meant that she was well aware that much of Odo's apparent animosity was bluff. How much, she wasn't sure, but the Bajoran was fairly sure that a great deal of his actions were simply done to keep up appearances. And most of the time, it worked, but not today and never on Kira.

"You didn't have to snap at him!" Nerys was feeling benevolent; Her ankles had at last returned to normal, her body was beginning to return to its proper proportion, and her sense of humour had come back with a vengeance. "We're paying customers, remember? He has to be nice to us, or we won't pay him."

"I know, I just enjoy teasing him," Odo smiled cheekily as the Ferengi returned with their order. Waiting until the man had left again, the two people hungrily started eating, Kira still amazed at the small thrill that ran through her at being able to have a meal with her friend.

Odo caught the small smile on Nerys' face and grinned inwardly too. "So, what are you planning to do for the rest of your day off? Because if you want me to continue to help your combat training, I'll need to visit Doctor Bashir and get him to prescribe me some vitamin pills!"

Kira laughed cheerfully, a sound that still thrilled Odo to his core, "No, no more training today. If I can outwit you, then I must still be in pretty good shape." She gazed affectionately at the man, "I've got a pile of reports that probably reach the Wormhole to write up, so I think I'll go back to my quarters and start typing them up. Ben hasn't asked for them yet, but I know he will soon."

"I think he's probably giving you a break after having the baby." Odo had 'accidentally' overheard Sisko and Bashir talking in the replimat earlier that morning, and since Kira's name had cropped up more than twice in the conversation, he'd naturally listened in. "I don't think Sisko is going to be making a great many demands on you for a while yet."

"You've heard something." Kira studied the man carefully. He looked as guilty as sin, and she knew that she'd caught him out. Pushing away her plates, Kira leaned forward, never taking her eyes off the ex-shapeshifter. "Spill it. If someone's talking about me, I want to know about it."

"It's nothing serious," Odo glanced around, desperately looking for a reason, any reason, to escape Kira's dark stare, but nothing came to hand. Sighing, he continued, "I was having breakfast today, and I heard Doctor Bashir and Captain Sisko talking about you. They were discussing whether to make you take a holiday for several weeks, or to let you stay on the station on limited duties." Odo shrugged as Kira raised her eyebrows, unasked question clear on her face. "I don't know what they decided. They left for Ops before finishing the conversation."

"I see," Kira thoughtfully sipped her drink, wondering whether she should confront her commanding officer, or whether it would be better to wait and see how things panned out.

Odo watched as a rainbow of emotions swept over her face. She was obviously wondering if not just her future, but her friendships and the only real home she'd known since the Occupation ended, were at stake. Gently, almost hesitantly, he reached out and covered Kira's hand with his own, smiling regretfully as he did so. "Nerys, I would never have mentioned it if I had known it would cause you pain."

"I know," Kira wrapped her fingers around Odo's for a second, and squeezed them tightly, "I'm just a little worried about the future, that's all." Standing, she moved towards the bar exit, Odo close behind. "Well, thanks for the training and the lunch. I'd better get started on those reports."

Odo watched as Kira swiftly marched out of sight. Then he headed to the security office, thinking deeply about the woman who had just left him, but who he could never, and would never, get out of his mind or his heart.

********

Sisko looked thoughtfully at the chess board, and tried to second-guess the Trill before him. Finally, he moved a piece tentatively forward, but the instant he took his hand away he knew the move had been a mistake.

Five seconds later, Dax looked triumphantly at the Captain. "Checkmate! You lose." Sitting back, she looked at him knowingly. "Now, why don't you really tell me what's on your mind?"

Sisko leant back and smiled slightly. "Nothing escapes you, does it?" As Dax grinned, his face took on a serious expression, "It's Kira. I'm not sure that she should have come back to work so soon after having the baby. Having just given birth, having to then give up the child must be much more strain on her emotionally than she's letting on. Doctor Bashir and I have been discussing what to do, and we've decided that it might be best to send--"

Dax leaned forward with a gleam in her eyes. "Let me get this straight: You and Julian have been discussing Nerys' future without consulting her? Have you gone insane? Kira will be furious!" Dax leaned back again, shaking her head in amazement at the two men's apparent inconsideration. "Benjamin, you know that Nerys, for all her apparent strengths and confidence, is really a very sensitive woman. If you send her away from the station, she might see it as a sign that we're rejecting her."

"It's not that, old man." Sisko stared moodily out of the window, "I just think that it might be best for her if she spends some time away from the situation, and with her friends on Bajor."

"You don't understand, do you?" Dax looked at him in exasperation. "WE are her friends, we are the only people who know her now. Her friends on Bajor don't understand who she's become, and this station is her home now. If you and Julian force her to go away, Nerys will be lost, and we might lose her too." She gazed steadily at the Human. "I know I'm no psychiatrist, but I've been around a long time and I've seen people with Kira's type of character before, and the one thing I do know about them is that they pour their heart and soul into their work. And that if you take that away from them, then these people sometimes become so lost that they can't ever find their way home again."

Sisko sat looking at his old friend for a long time then nodded slowly. "You might have something there. If there's one thing I have learnt about Kira, it's that forcing her to do something can sometimes cause more headaches than it's worth. My main concern is that the stress could cause her to break down, and I don't want that either."

"It sounds like you want Nerys to take a holiday, but you want her to think it's her idea." Dax grinned at the smile that crossed Sisko's face, but when she saw the look in his eyes, the Trill knew in an instant that she'd been checkmated.

"Exactly, and I think that you are just the person to convince her." Sisko's smile broadened as he saw a million excuses all flash through Dax's mind at once, and knew he had her right where he wanted her. "And I'll make this official if I have to. Kira needs a break, but she won't take the order, so you have to get her to voluntarily take one. Understood?" As she nodded glumly, he stood and returned to his main desk. "I'll expect a result before the end of the week, Commander."

As Dax fumed quietly and left the room, Sisko could have sworn he heard the sound of grinding teeth.

********

Odo was enjoying a quiet moment listening to some early Bajoran sonatas when his door chime rang rudely. Sighing, he covered his annoyance with a gruff "Come in", and hoped that whoever it was would get the idea and go away. Dax strolled into the room and Odo sighed. It hadn't worked, and now he was stuck with a three-hundred year-old Trill who was probably in search of some amusement. Having heard rumors of just what Dax considered amusing, he didn't want to be on the receiving end of her idea of a practical joke. "What can I do for you, Dax? And please hurry, I have a great many reports to write up for Starfleet."

"Odo, you really should relax more." Dax sauntered towards Odo and saw his eyes glaze over strangely. A curious thought ran through her mind and Jadzia wondered, truthfully not for the first time, if the now-Humanoid Changeling was starting to discover a few of the more interesting things about being solid--like hormones. Pushing aside what was fast becoming an extremely entertaining train of thought, she smiled her sweetest smile and leaned against Odo's computer terminal. "Constable, I hear you and Nerys spent the morning in a holosuite. Do you have something you want to tell me?"

Odo smiled sharply. "Major Kira and I spent several hours using a Starfleet unarmed combat training program to determine her fitness level now that she's had the baby. It turns out that she hasn't lost any of her skills, and actually taught me a few tricks I hadn't seen before." His smile softened and Dax's suspicions awakened a forgotten memory. "Now, what can I do for you, Commander?"

"I need your help with something. Captain Sisko has 'asked' me to somehow convince Nerys to take a holiday, and he's given me only three days to do it in."

"So, what do you want me to do?" Odo leaned back and watched Dax carefully. He knew from long experience that managing to put one over on Kira was considered by the station occupants to be the ultimate achievement.

"You're the one person that really knows Nerys on the station. Julian can order her to take leave, but Benjamin would rather see her go of her own accord." Dax leant forward intently, "I need to know whether you think Nerys would agree to take a holiday, or whether I have to go back to tell Benjamin that he'll need to order her to take the leave."

"Why exactly do you want Nerys to take some time off? After all, she seems to have recovered from her short-lived motherhood very well." Odo paced the room slowly, trying to decide what would be the right thing to do.

"She hasn't recovered, Odo, you know that. All Nerys has done is push her feelings down and pretend that she's dealt with them." Jadzia looked at the ex-changeling and sighed. "Look, you know her better than anyone, probably even better than Shakaar." Dax saw the momentary stiffening of Odo's shoulders at the mention of the Bajoran First Minister, and filed the reaction away with her earlier observations, "All we want is for Nerys to take a little time to get back on her feet again."

Odo continued pacing for a few minutes, while Dax silently watched, before he finally stopped and nodded, his decision made. "Very well. I spoke to her about a something similar this morning, and I think she'll agree to the idea. But that's only my opinion."

"Thank you," Dax sighed with relief and walked towards the door, "I'll go see Nerys now, and let you know what happens." After she'd left the room, Jadzia leaned against a wall and sighed again. "Well, at least she's at least she's thinking about a holiday."

********

Kira lay on her bed, her mind working furiously as her left hand unconsciously rubbed her abdomen where the O'Brien's son used to be. Her heart felt empty, as if something very right had been taken away. The thought that Captain Sisko might force her to take time off wasn't what frightened her, it was the thought of having to leave her home without the child she had carried for so long. Finally, she admitted the real problem:

She wanted a child.

Kira felt her mind clear slightly as she considered the possibilities available to her. She could fall pregnant by Shakaar, a man who she already cared deeply about, although she wasn't madly in love with him. If only Bareil..... Kira shook her head, pushing the thought out of her mind.

Bareil was dead, and she was sleeping with Shakaar, and she doubted very much if he would want to be a father just yet.

The only other person she was even remotely attracted to was Odo, but Odo wasn't interested in relationships, only justice. Kira sighed, and a smile slowly crossed her face as she remembered the hug he'd given her when she'd visited him in the Infirmary after he returned from the Gamma quadrant as a Human. His arms had been so warm, and his eyes so scared....

The door chime sounded, breaking into her thoughts. She sighed and rolled off the bed - an old habit from her pregnancy - and walked into the main room of her quarters.

"Come." Kira smiled as the door opened and she saw Dax standing there.

"Hello. I thought I'd come and see how you were. Odo told me you tried a training exercise this morning. How was it?"

Kira laughed, "I'm not as out of condition as I thought." She motioned towards the couch, and shot Dax a suspicious glance. "I've heard a rumour that Sisko wants to force me to take some leave. What's going on, Jadzia?"

Dax gave up. She had no idea how the Bajoran's information network operated, but Kira always seemed to be at least one step ahead whenever something involved her, and the Trill suspected it had a lot to do with the man she had just visited. "Benjamin is worried that you haven't really recovered from the baby yet, and he just wants to make sure that you're ready to take on a full workload." Dax saw Kira about to argue and kept talking. "Nerys, we know you always take on a great deal, and what you've done was beyond anything you've ever taken on before. But even you have to rest. You need a holiday, a break to let your mind recover, that's all."

Kira sat for a long moment, head bowed, before nodding slowly. "All right. Tell Sisko I'll take two weeks on Bajor, with Shakaar. He was going to take a holiday soon anyway, so I'll stay with him." She smiled wanly. "Wouldn't do our relationship any harm, we've barely seen each other in the last few months." She bowed her head again, and Dax became aware that there was more on Kira's mind than just the rumours. "Nerys, what's wrong?"

"It shows, hmm?" Kira looked at Dax and was rewarded with an encouraging smile, "I feel....empty. Like I've been used, and now I'm not needed I don't matter anymore. I want to feel needed again." The woman's eyes were shinning with blazing intensity, and Dax suddenly understood.

"You want a child, don't you?" Kira didn't have to reply--the answer wrote itself over her face. Dax took a deep breath. "Kira, are you sure that that's what you want? Children are for life, they're a life-long responsibility and once you've got them nothing is ever the same."

"I know, I've seen that. But I need to feel needed again. I want to feel I have a purpose outside of my work." Kira leaned forward, speaking with a passion that Dax hadn't seen from her before, "When I was carrying the baby, I felt like I was a part of something, a family. But now, now I feel empty. Something's gone, and I want it back."

"And you think a child is going to fill the void." Dax grabbed Kira's hands and held them tight. "Nerys, you and Shakaar barely get to see each other as it is. A child is not going to help your relationship. In fact, it could drive you further apart, not bring you closer if that's what you're thinking."

"Right now, I'm not actually thinking about Shakaar. I doubt if Odo would even be interested. I'm just thinking about a baby." Jadzia's eyebrows shot up at the mention of the security chief, but Kira hadn't even noticed she'd said the name, and Dax's concern deepened. This wasn't the woman she had come to know over the last five years. "My relationship with Edon isn't an issue, we're still close friends. I just don't believe that this is all there is anymore."

"Well, you're right there, this isn't all there is." Dax grinned and released her grip on Kira's hands, "I'm glad you've discovered that there's more to life than just being first officer of a space station, but I'm not sure that having a baby is going to make your life any better. Parents travel in pairs for a very good reason, so are you prepared to put your life on hold for at least the next few years?"

"I don't know." At least, Dax thought, Kira was still thinking partly clearly. "It's just an idea, but it feels like the right one. Anyway," Kira smiled and dismissed the thought for the moment, "right now I have to contact Edon and tell him I'm taking a holiday. He'll probably be shocked, but I'll help him get over it."

"Has Julian said you can get that...'friendly' so soon after the baby yet?" The Trill was beginning to feel like a merry-go-round. One moment she was encouraging her friend to take a holiday and enjoy herself, and the next, she was thinking that maybe Benjamin had overstepped the mark. But, it was too late to back up now, or she risked loosing face in front of Kira.

"I'm going to see Julian tomorrow, for a final check-up. He said that I should be fine by the end of the week." Kira yawned for the second time in five minutes, and decided that maybe she needed more sleep than she'd thought. "I don't mean to be rude, but...."

Dax laughed and walked to the door. "I was just leaving, but a friendly word of advice: Lay off the training until after you come back from Bajor. Your body needs the rest."

"Agreed." Kira laughed and watched as her friend left, before

returning to the bedroom and fell onto the bed. she was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

********

Dax walked into Ops. She was pleased that Kira had agreed to the holiday fairly quickly, but she was also worried that her friend might do something in a hurry that she might later regret. She hoped that nothing would happen during Kira's visit to Shakaar.

Jadzia was fully aware of how strong the maternal instinct could be. After all, she herself had been a mother several times, but she felt that, for Kira, the timing wasn't right. She sounded the door chime to Sisko's office, and smiled as his ever-deepening voice replied.

"Hello, Old Man." Sisko smiled and motioned for her to sit. "How did it go with Kira?"

"Better than I thought it would." Despite the good news, Sisko could see that his old friend was troubled.

"So Kira has agreed to take some time off?"

"Yes. She seems to think two weeks with Shakaar would be sufficient." Dax still seemed almost distracted.

"Only two? I would have thought that since the baby has been born, they would have wanted to make up for lost time. She seems to have a knack for having long distance relationships." Sisko smiled, expecting the Trill to respond. She did, in an unexpected way.

"I don't know whether it's a good idea anymore."

"What - long distance relationships?" Benjamin was finding Jadzia harder to follow than usual.

"No, Shakaar. Nerys is feeling very vulnerable right now, and she's persuaded herself that she wants a child of her own. Considering her relationship with Shakaar has never been stable, it might not be very good timing." Dax was talking more to herself than Sisko, as usual, and it was beginning to make the conversation difficult to follow.

"Kira wants to have Shakaar's child?" Sisko was beginning to wish he'd listened to more of the station's gossip. "I didn't realise that the First Minister was the fatherhood type."

"No. Nerys wants a baby, but not anyone's in particular, just her own. She wants to feel needed again. It's not an unusual thing for women who have had a child then lost it for some reason. With Kira, it's a little different since she isn't exactly in a stable relationship."

"Well, a child is a big decision." Sisko finally thought he was gaining a foothold in the conversation, when Dax changed lanes again.

"It wouldn't be right for her at this time, not even if it were Odo's." Dax was staring at the baseball on Sisko's desk, and he realised he'd just lost the plot again.

"Odo?" Sisko shook his head, "I'm sorry, old man, but you need to back up."

"Hmm?" Jadzia looked up, finally remembering who she was talking to. "Sorry, Benjamin, that just slipped out. Since Odo has become human, I think Nerys might be suppressing some feelings for him. Ones that go deeper than friendship."

"But Odo wouldn't..."

"That's just the point. He would, and does."

"I'm sorry?" Sisko realised that he desperately needed to get out more often. "Hold it." He stood up and went to the replicator, returning with two mugs of raktajino. Handing one to Dax, Sisko sat down and leaned back, watching the Trill intently. "Okay. Just pretend that I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"That's not hard," Dax smirked. "You must have noticed that Odo has feelings for Kira, it's been perfectly obvious for years now. Even Quark has worked it out, I think."

"It has?" The idea that Odo might be even remotely interested in humanoid coupling, had never occurred to him. And never in his wildest dreams would he have pictured Odo with Kira.

Dax decided to concede the point. "Well, maybe it's easier to see when you know about it. When Curzon melded with Odo, and those memories came back to me, some of his strong feelings came too. Benjamin, he's been pining after Kira for years, and now that he's human, I think that it's possible that Kira may be feeling something too. But with all of her hormones in confusion after the birth, I don't think even she knows exactly what she wants. I just hope that she doesn't make any rash decisions that she'll regret."

Sisko felt understanding dawn...slowly, as several memories began to stir. "Me too, old man." He leaned forward slowly, "Do you remember when Shakaar first visited the station and there was an assassination attempt when he, Kira, and Odo were on a turbolift?"

"Of course. Nerys was horrified at the thought that she might have lost not her own life, but that the newly-elected First Minister might have been killed. It shook her up badly. Why?"

"The accident happened because Odo was distracted by something happening in the lift. And now I think about it, the mistake makes sense, if Odo was interested in Kira and had to stand there while Shakaar...."

Sisko leaned back again, wondering just how long his security chief had loved the untouchable.

It must have showed, because Dax said softly, "Since before Bareil died, Benjamin. He's loved her that long, and she's never hinted that he views him as more than a close friend." She looked into her coffee and sighed, "He's waiting for what he sees as an impossible dream to come true. And even though he's lost all he was, this could be Odo's one chance to have that dream come true."

"Old man, what are you planning?" Sisko recognised the tone. Curzon had used it whenever he was going to do something that would take him into unknown territory. "You can't intervene, this is their lives, not a game."

"I know. But Kira is at a turning point, and I can't help but wonder what will happen if she chooses to go through with her heart's desire."

The two looked at each other worriedly. There was nothing else to say.

********

"Odo?" Kira caught up with him as he walked along the promenade on his afternoon rounds. As he turned, Kira grinned at the smile that flashed across his face briefly. "I just thought you should know that I won't be on the station for the next two weeks. I'm going to take a holiday on Bajor, so if you need me I'll be with Shakaar."

"Of course." Odo tried to ignore the sudden wrench to his heart, but knew he hadn't succeeded when Kira peered at his face closely.

"Odo, is something wrong?" She could have sworn that she'd seen a strange expression there, almost a twinge of....jealously?

"No, nothing at all, Major." He turned and continued his walk along the deck, as Kira scurried to keep up. "I hope that you and Shakaar have a wonderful time together." There it was again, she noticed. "And you are able to return relaxed and ready to work."

"Something is wrong." Kira grabbed Odo's arm gently, and steered him towards the replimat. "I don't know about you, but I feel like a snack."

She saw Odo's reluctance and tightened her grip. "And I hate to eat alone."

Odo sighed and gave up struggling. Sitting opposite the woman, he watched as she ordered a sweet drink and a plate of chips. He scrutinised the food, then glanced at the Bajoran. "That's hardly a nutritious meal.

"It's a snack, Odo, not a meal." Sitting down, Kira took a long, hard, look at the man opposite her. "You don't approve of me going to see Edon, do you?"

Odo's jaw dropped. He had no idea what to say. The statment that sprang immediately to mind--'No, I don't approve because I love you and I want you to be with me', was definitely out of the question. Finally, he managed to mumble, "It's your choice."

"That's not what I asked, Odo." Kira was determined to get to the bottom of the problem, whatever the cost. "Edon cares about me a great deal, he's a very close friend."

"Yes, but there have been....rumours." The words sprang out of Odo's mouth before he could stop himself, and it was all he could do not to run away at the look that shot across Kira's face at his comment. Bowing his head, he spoke in little more than a whisper, "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair."

"No, but it's nothing I haven't heard already." At her words, Odo slowly raised his head, to the strained, sadly smiling face of the woman opposite. "Did you really think I wouldn't have heard what people are saying about him? Edon denies it, but I've known him for too long to believe he would be faithful to me with his body when I'm this far away."

"That...can't be easy." Odo found a small pulse of hope had started within him, and as hard as he tried, it simply wouldn't go away. "I don't know how I would handle my mate not being faithful to me, whatever the reason."

"Well, we Bajorans are a pretty liberal lot these days. The

Occupation made for some strange habits, and they aren't all easily broken." Kira was sipping her drink, and looking speculatively at Odo. She couldn't help it. These days, all her hormones wanted to do was get her into bed with the most available man, and Odo was being whispered around the station as the greatest eligible bachelor around.

His body might not have been as broad as Kira liked, but she knew from personal experience that there was a great deal of muscle under the uniform, and a small part of her mind began to wonder how he would look.... Breaking off, she realised she'd been staring, and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, my mind wandered slightly. I guess I do need that holiday more than I thought."

"I must get back to my office," Odo shot to his feet, unable to face her anymore. "I hope you have a restful holiday, and that you and Shakaar enjoy yourselves."

"So do I." Kira stood and nodded slightly. "I'll see you in two weeks, Constable." As she watched him march towards the security office, Kira had the curious feeling she'd just lost Odo again.

********

Kira was standing impatiently in line at the airlock, her shuttle due to leave within a few minutes.

"Nerys!"

Turning, she smiled broadly as Dax jogged down the corridor. "I didn't think you'd make it."

"For a moment, neither did I. But I wanted to say goodbye, even if it's only two weeks. And I want to ask you to promise me something." Dax looked at her friend seriously. Kira was curious.

"Of course, if I can. What is it?"

"Just promise me that you won't make any major decisions in the next two weeks. I know what it's like to want something so bad it's all you can think of, but that's not the best time to make decisions about babies."

Jadzia looked so worried for her, Nerys couldn't do anything but smile and say "Alright. Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid."

The relief on her friends face was almost comical.

"Good. Have a good holiday, and I'll see you soon." The two women hugged as they heard the announcement for the shuttle to Bajor.

"I'll see you in two weeks." Kira waved as she disappeared into the airlock.

********

Odo was pacing up and down the security office for the fiftieth time that day, in between interruptions from the petty disputes that he had to try and sort out. Kira had only been gone for twenty six hours, but to Odo it felt like days. He couldn't seem to keep his mind away from thoughts of Nerys and Shakaar together, and the whole situation was making him even more snappy than usual. The sound of the door chime broke Odo's train of thought, which was probably a good thing, but it didn't stop him from snapping once again.

"Enter." The door opened up and Jadzia Dax walked in.

"Well I was actually hoping for a slightly warmer reception, but from what I've heard I should have expected this," The Trill made herself comfortable on the nearest chair.

"Is there something I can help you with, Commander?" Odo tried to tone his voice down slightly.

"Actually I was going ask you the same thing. There have been reports from almost everyone who has been into security that you have practically thrown them out on their ear, and even Quark has said that you were more abrupt with him than you usually are. So are you going to tell me what is bothering you, or do I have to guess?"

"My problems are none of your concern, so if you don't mind I have a lot of work to do."

"It didn't look like you were getting a lot of work done, Odo, and I also know that you need to talk to someone so I am not moving until you do. It's about Kira isn't it?" Jadzia spoke firmly, determined to get to the bottom of the problem. Odo sank into his chair looking defeated.

"Is it that obvious?"

"No, but you do seem to forget that since your merge with Curzon, I know you fairly well, and that means I also know how you feel about Nerys." Dax's tone softened as she saw the pain on Odo's face.

"Yes I suppose you do." Odo laughed mirthlessly. "I guess I never really considered that possibility because you have never mentioned how much of my thoughts remained with Curzon when his memories were returned to you." The man stared at a small scratch on his desk, unable to face the seemingly all-knowing Trill.

"Has it ever occurred to you that Kira might share some of the feelings that you have for her? After all, you two have worked closely together for a long time." Jadzia was trying to find the best way to make Odo see how Kira felt without telling him what she had said.

"Then why is she on Bajor with Shakaar right now?" The Constable looked extremely doubtful, and Dax sighed. They were both completely hopeless, and in her book that meant they were perfect for each other.

"Maybe she needs to work out who she wants to be with romantically, you or Shakaar." Jadzia decided that if he didn't take this hint, the man deserved to stew a little longer.

Odo looked at her suspiciously. "I think you are just saying this to make me feel better."

"Odo, have you ever known me to lie to anyone about something like this?" Dax asked, hoping to a least give him cause to consider the possibility that Kira did care about him.

"No, but I know Curzon would."

"Maybe so, but this is Jadzia speaking, not Curzon. Look, just think about it for a while. And take my advice: Don't give up on Kira yet." With that, Dax left the security office hoping that her last statement to Odo would have the effect on him that she suspected it would. Besides, if he didn't cheer up soon, Sisko might end up stepping in, and that meant that things might get very ugly.

********

Kira stood on the porch of Shakaar's farmhouse, eyes closed, enjoying the feel of the night breeze on her face. It was a moonless night, and the stars seemed to shine brighter than even on the station, not that it helped to soothe the woman's wound-up nerves. Unable to sleep, Kira had hoped that a few moments of fresh air would help, but all it had done was make her mind work even faster.

Going back inside, Kira found herself standing in the bathroom, looking at a solitary hypospray lying on the washstand, filled with the neutraliser for the contraceptive shots that Bashir had recently given her. 'It would only take one shot, and no-one would ever know.' Kira couldn't help the thoughts that were racing through her mind. 'Accidents happen all the time, that's how babies get born anyway. Shakaar would just think that it was an accident, and no-one would get hurt.' Almost dreaming, Kira reached out and picked up the hypo, but before she could use it, Dax's words came back to her and she sighed.

"Nerys?" Shakaar's curious voice sounded behind her, and his confusion increased as he saw Kira almost throw a hypospray down as she turned to face him wearing the guiltiest expression he'd ever seen. "Nerys, hat's going on?"

"Nothing, I was just..." her voice trailed off as she desperately tried to think of a plausible excuse for having the hypo. "It's to help me sleep, but I was about to empty it, I don't want to have to rely on drugs."

"I see," Shakaar looked deeply into Kira's eyes, and saw something he thought he never would there; a deliberate lie. Reaching out, he drew her in to lean against him, but kept his eyes firmly fixed on the discarded hypo. "Why don't you go back to bed, and I'll clean up here?"

"Alright," Nerys turned back to the sink, but before she could pick up the instrument again, Shakaar's grabbed it and smoothly pulled out the vial holding the neutraliser. "I'll get rid of it," Nerys stammered,

desperately trying to stay calm.

"It's no problem, I'll just pour it down the sink. I wanted a drink anyway," Smiling brightly, the man walked out to the kitchen area and appeared to empty the vial down the sink, while Kira slowly walked back into the bedroom, not seeing the container in the sink that Shakaar had really poured the drug into. Putting the now-sealed container into his cooler, Shakaar decided that the next day he would have to take a trip to the Capitol, just to collect any urgent paperwork, of course. And if he happened to drop into the science department to see about progress on some new pesticides and accidentally left the container there with a note attached, then it was hardly his fault, was it now?

The man walked slowly back into his bedroom, trying to think of a reason why his lover would lie about something so innocent as a hypospray.

********

Kira walked off the shuttle and back onto the station's deck - and wondered why she had ever agreed to leave. Walking towards her quarters, the Bajoran thought back over the last two weeks and shook her head slowly. Shakaar had seemed distant and pre-occupied, even before the hypo incident, but after then he had become even worse, even to spending two days in the Capitol and leaving Kira on the farm by herself.

However, he had been reasonably excited when she'd pointed out that he would be on the station himself in a weeks time, and that she would probably be more settled then. Meanwhile, they had enjoyed several more intimate days together, before Kira finally had to return to the station, and although she wouldn't admit it, she did feel better for the holiday.

Just as Nerys reached her door, a friendly voice rang out, "Major!" Turning, Kira grinned broadly as Odo strode down the corridor towards her.

"Odo, what are you doing here? Aren't you usually patrolling the Promenade at this time?" Opening the door, Kira led her friend into her lounge room, and sat on the couch, "Or have you decided to vary your routine so you can catch Quark out?"

"No, I just thought the someone should welcome you back after your holiday." Odo looked at the woman carefully then smiled, "You look as if you enjoyed your time on Bajor....with Shakaar."

Kira caught the slight catch in Odo's voice and a small red light came on in her mind. "You still don't approve of my relationship with Shakaar, do you?" Kira watched as Odo's face showed a mixture of embarrassment, agreement, and relief that she had been the one to bring up the subject.

"I don't understand why, when you know what he's been doing, you stay with him." Odo couldn't face the woman he loved, and when she put a and on his knee he wanted to jump up and run as far away as he could. Instead, he pulled on every piece of willpower he had and stayed put. "I know the two of you are old friends, but even so...." The man made an enigmatic gesture, that Kira interpreted easily.

"Odo, the First Minister is coming to the station in one week, and while I respect your feelings about our relationship, you are chief of

security, and I will expect you to provide the best protection you can for him during his stay." The officer was clearly in control of Kira at the moment, as Odo merely nodded. "The other thing is: Will you have time for another training exercise tomorrow?"

Odo looked long and hard at Kira, before smiling, "Of course. Do you have a specific field in mind?"

"Your choice. Something involving small arms combat." Kira shrugged affably, then yawned tiredly. "I don't mean to be rude, but.."

"Of course," Odo stood and smiled again, "Shall we say thirteen hundred tomorrow, Major?"

"Fine. Good night, Odo," After the man had left, the small warning bell that had been ringing inside Kira's mind began to become more insistent, but Kira pushed it to one side. Odo couldn't be interested in her, whatever she wanted to believe. He didn't like relationships, and despised 'coupling', as he'd put it. No, when she broke up with Shakaar, and she was confident that that event wasn't too far away, she would have to get used to being alone again, no matter what her hormones or her night-time fantasies wanted to tell her.

Sighing, Kira flopped on her bed, asleep within minutes as the dreams started again.

********

The jungle was hot and steamy, and steam covered the ground like a fine mist. Kira, hiding in a small group of bushes, checked her camouflage uniform once again, and made sure she had a firm grip on her small dagger. She didn't know where Odo was, but she didn't want him catching her unawares.

There was a problem inherent with playing hide and seek with someone who once did it for a living: he was so much better than she. He was armed only with a human weapon, a paired toy of sticks and chain, that had a funny, stupid name, something called nunchuku. It could reach twice the length of Nerys' short sword, but was a lot less directional, and was better used as a short range weapon, ensnaring rather than maiming the victim. Kira didn't intend to get that close.

Taking care not to disturb any vegetation as she moved out of cover, lest she give away some slight noise, Kira headed towards the outside of the playing arena. She knew she'd found it when she ran into an unscaleable rock-face. Running lightly along it, the fighter tried to get a feel for the size of the field. Since Odo had chosen the size and composition of the area, she'd have to find out just what the parameters were on the fly. She trailed the wall until she came to a turning point. About two hundred metres... although, since this was the holosuite, the real playing area was only about ten by ten. Two hundred one way, and she worked along to the next corner, and found it to be about the same length as the last. A lot of playing space.

The Bajoran began moving stealthily through the jungle, listening for the normal sounds one would expect. Birds... there they were. Crickets, they were here, too. Rilongers? Yeah, she could hear them now. And then, the crickets stopped.

Kira froze. What had she missed? There were no hiding places behind her that she had found, no holes, no large trees... but there were large trees here.

One of them was a tall oak, something Sisko had introduced to her once. Just to the left of that was a tree that had been attacked by a parasite, and eaten away, so only the vine covering was left. It looked like a tree itself. There was a small grove of pine trees, and even a Bajoran Teb tree. How nice of Odo. The oak was the most logical hiding place, as it was the largest of the trees... While the strangler vine looked as if it might be easy to climb, and the pines looked easy to hide in, and the Teb... Well, the Teb was renowned for the ability to hide people within its range by producing pleasant scents that took one's mind off what one was doing. Kira checked behind the oak, and found -

- absolutely nothing. No one. She was momentarily perplexed, but found a chain around her neck, pulling tightly. Rough, coarse hands remorselessly continued pulling on the metal, forcing her to the ground even as she beat her hands upon it. The world was going blank when suddenly, the holosuite safety protocols asserted themselves.

The jungle dissolved in a storm of pixels, and Kira, deprived of the weapon holding her up, fell to the floor, with a body caught off-balance and falling on top of her. She looked up.

Odo's face was mere millimetres from her own. She could make out each individual drop of sweat, see his pores, feel his slight breath on her face. She knew, then, that Odo hadn't even had to work hard to catch her out. "How -?"

Odo smiled, not an attractive prospect at the best of times. "The strangler vine... a parasite that eats away at trees... and leaves the insides hollow. A matter of waiting, then." He suddenly realised the position he was in. Kira did, too. It was plain on both their faces, but neither wanted to see their mutual yearnings for each other, as they scrambled to their feet. "I have some work that I need to do in Security."

"I think the Captain's about to call for me -"

"- Quark needs looking after -"

"- this funny, sick feeling in my stomach -"

"- Doctor Bashir wanted me to check out some new security programs -"

"- so I'll see you later."

"Likewise, Major."

The door was no sooner open, then Odo made it out. Kira was a close second. Both hammered for an open turbolift, both gave up when they realised they were heading for the same one. Odo headed straight to Security, while Kira tapped her comm badge, repeatedly. "Captain? Do you need me?"

********

Sighing again, Kira decided that after that afternoons events she wasn't sure of anything anymore. After a hectic afternoon in Ops, where Dax had picked up on the Bajorans apprehensive fears with the speed of a vole smelling a new power conduit, Kira had agreed to meet the Trill for dinner, albeit with some serious misgivings. Which was why she found herself sitting in the Klingon restaurant waiting for her friend, who was already five minutes late. Then again, Dax was always late.

Feeling two eyes upon her, Kira looked up and smiled wanly as Dax sat opposite, gazing worriedly at her friend. "I was beginning to think you'd stood me up."

"After this afternoon, not even Worf could have kept me away." Dax put on her most charming smile and leaned forward, "Now, are you going to tell me the problem, or do I have to guess?"

"I.... I had a shock earlier today, and I'm as confused as hell." Kira had no idea how she felt anymore, but she was definitely beginning to think that dinner was a bad idea. "It's nothing really. I just.... I think I've scared off my best friend, that's all."

"Ah," Dax took a shot in the dark, "This wouldn't involve Odo by any chance, would it?" As Kira's astonished face looked back at her, Dax took the opportunity to order them dinner, then smiled, "What exactly happened?"

"We were training, armed combat this time, and Odo had chosen the field. He got me, but as the holodeck safety's operated, we both fell to the floor and he ended up on top of me, and I just...." Kira's voice

trailed off as she tried to think of a way to put all her emotions into words, "I wanted to...have him, and to never let him go. And I think he guessed, because he took off like a scared Katu bunny." Kira bowed her head, ashamed of her own emotions, and wondering what her friend must think.

Dax, meanwhile, was fighting back a serious case of the giggles. She, and almost everyone else on the station, knew how Odo felt about Kira, but apparently it wasn't that obvious to the woman herself. Stifling her humour, Dax tried to think of a way to milk the situation for as much as she could. "Nerys, isn't there another reason why Odo might have reacted why he did? After all, you have known each other for a long time now." Dax watched her friends face closely, as Kira thought over Dax's words, and suddenly realised what she meant.

Kira's jaw dropped. "You...you can't be serious can you? Odo doesn't have those kinds of feelings, and certainly not for me. You've heard what he says about relationships and...intimate arrangements. He isn't interested in that sort of thing."

"Nerys, I've tried to be subtle, and I've tried to give hints, but none of it seems to have worked, so I'm going to be blunt. Odo loves you. He's loved you for years, before Shakaar, and even before Bareil. The man almost worships the ground you walk on, and everyone else but you has guessed by now. Odo won't tell you because before, he didn't believe you could love a Changeling, and now, because you're involved with Shakaar. Do you understand now?" Dax spoke firmly and with a tone that told Kira she wasn't going to stand for any arguments, while Kira sat, stunned at the Trills words.

Eventually, she managed a reply. "So, what he did today wasn't..."

"It wasn't that he was shocked. I think Odo probably showed you plainly for the first time, exactly how he feels about you. He loves you deeply, Nerys, he'd die for you if he had to, but until now, he hasn't known how to show it, and if it's any consolation, I bet that Odo is just as embarrassed as you are right now." Dax gave her friend what could have been taken for a motherly smile as she watched Kira's mind work through the last few years worth of friendship with Odo, and arrive at the only available conclusion.

"Prophets help me, what can I do?" Kira was completely lost for words as she looked helplessly at Dax. "I don't know..."

"That depends on how you feel about Odo." Jadzia became blunt again, "You know how he feels about you, the only question here is how do you feel about him?"

********

Odo paced around the security office desperately looking for something to do. Unfortunately, his efficient nature meant that all his work had been done already, and there was little he could do except for patrolling the Promenade. And with Kira sitting in the Klingon restaurant with Dax, the Promenade was the last place he wanted to be. The office door opened, and Odo almost groaned aloud as Julian Bashir strolled in.

"Odo, there's a drug shipment--" Bashir stopped and stared at the man before him, "Constable, are you feeling well? You look pale."

"I'm fine, now what do you want?" Odo gritted his teeth and glared at Bashir. The last thing he wanted was to have to explain his feelings to this particular Human. "I'm very busy, so please be brief."

Julian sat down, and settled himself into the chair, looking extremely determined to stay. "There's a shipment of the drug 'Nercosen' due in two days. Since it's valued on the black-market for its ability to cause erotic hallucinations when used in large doses, I'd like a high-level security priority placed on the shipment until I get it under lock and key in the store-room." He cocked his head to one side, "Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

Odo was glaring at the man and about to growl a reply, when a thought struck him, and instead, he leaned forward intently. "Doctor, how did you charm Leeta?"

Julian sat stunned. Of all the questions he'd expected, and not expected, from Odo, this was something he never would have even guessed in a million years. Gathering his thoughts, the man shrugged shakily, "Well I.....it just happened, I think. Leeta and I were simply attracted to each other, and when we admitted those feelings, our natural urges took it from there. That's how your body is designed." The officer began to get an

inkling of why Odo was asking these questions. "I don't mean to pry, but who is she Odo?"

"What makes you--" Odo began to bluster, then slumped back down, defeated. His newly Humanised body didn't let him get away with making excuses, he wasn't practised enough "It's Major Kira. I've been feeling like this for years, but as a Changeling, I didn't have a chance. But now, as a Human, I think that maybe....." his voice trailed off as he gazed helplessly at the man opposite him. "I need to know how to tell if a woman is interested in you."

********

Kira thought for a long moment, then slowly nodded. "I definitely feel something for Odo, an intense friendship if nothing else. But the idea that he could be interested in me is so...."

"Repulsive?" Dax was beginning to become more and more nervous about the whole situation between her two friends.

Kira looked at Dax in shock, "No! I could never think of Odo, in any form, as repulsive. He's my friend. He's closer than almost anyone else is. It's just that...after hearing his views on...intimate relationships, I have trouble believing that he would want to begin such a relationship with me. But if he did, I'd be flattered, really."

"Then let me set up a meeting between you, a date, if you like." Seeing Kira was about to balk, Dax went on quickly. "Nothing too threatening, just a late lunch in the Replimat if you like. Just some time for the two of you to be able to talk this out." Dax waited until Kira nodded reluctantly before breathing again. "Good. How does tomorrow afternoon sound? You're both off duty, so you can spend as much time as you need."

"All right, but if things don't go well--"

"Then you can call me and talk about it." Dax stood and watched as Bashir walked out of the security office, looking a little dazed. "I'll go and talk to Odo while you get back to Ops. That way, the two of you can sort out what you want to say tomorrow. Is fourteen hundred good for you?"

"Fine." Kira stood and stalked off, leaving Dax to sag against her chair slightly. This business of setting people up was more complicated than she remembered.

********

"Well...she'll want to spend time with you, share similar interests with you, and you'll be comfortable with each other's company." Bashir settled back and smiled slightly. "But Kira, well, that could be more difficult. I thought she was still involved with Minister Shakaar?"

"I think that her relationship with the minister is on it's last legs." Odo was in more stable territory here: talking about anything but himself. "Kira is well aware of the rumours about Shakaar, and they are hurting her deeply, not that she'll ever admit it."

"I see." Julian thought deeply for several moments. "Constable, I think you need to talk to Kira herself, and straighten this out between the two of you. There is no real way to know how a woman feels about you except by asking her." Standing, he moved towards the door. "The only advice I can give you is that if Major Kira does feel the same way, then she will tell you, if you ask her. The Major is inherently honest, and in a matter such as this, she will not lie to you."

Odo sighed as the doctor left, then he saw Dax heading determinedly in his direction and sighed again. Life was not looking easy.

********

"Odo, what are you doing for lunch tomorrow?" Dax had marched into the office and sat down before Odo could ask what she wanted.

"I had nothing planned, why?" He man was cautious. She was probably bored and plotting to have some fun-- at his expense.

"Your presence is required in the Replimat at fourteen hundred, where you and Nerys will discuss what happened today, and your relationship in general." Dax smiled brightly, as Odo's jaw dropped. "Is there anything else?"

"I....I don't know what to say. Do you know how Nerys feels about me?" Odo's mind was twisting and turning, not knowing which way to go.

"Nerys feels a very deep friendship with you, at least that's all she'll admit to. I think that she feels much deeper than that, but she isn't sure. And the situation with Shakaar isn't helping at all." Dax stood and walked to the door, leaving Odo feeling dazed, "So, you'll be there tomorrow--for your date?"

"Yes, I'll be there." Odo stood, more out of habit than anything else, "Do you really--" He stopped, unable to ask the rest of the question.

Dax gazed at the ex-Changeling for a long time, then smiled deeply. "Yes Odo, I'd say you have an excellent chance."

********

The replimat seemed a strange place for what Odo was thinking of as a 'first date'. It was an open secret that Minister Shakaar was engaging in relations with another woman, but still... he and the Major were still together... in a sense of the word. Nervous, he swirled his drink around in his glass. Once upon a time, the glass - and drink - would have been a part of him. Now... now he had lost the most basic part of himself, no longer able to hide his feelings by shapeshifting into something completely different. Now he had to drink real drink out of a real glass, and eat real food off a real plate with real utensils.

Odo had once heard, from a human locked in his brig, that alcohol occasionally provided confidence in oneself that one did not always actually possess. Odo had laughed it off, he'd never needed anything to boost his confidence. He was sure of his abilities. No one could take him in hand-to-hand combat, and he was faster and sneakier than a phaser. Now... now he found he needed something to bolster his self-assurance. His Bajoran trainers had never told him anything he'd needed to know about relationships.

Friends, he understood. People who you did things for, and then sat and listened to them talk about things you weren't interested in, and then, occasionally - occasionally! - they might do something for you. That was the Cardassian concept of friendship at least. The Human and Bajoran ideals he had found to be more pleasently altruistic. To them, friends did things for you freely, they expected nothing in return. They came to you with problems, but you could also go to them. And they would answer questions. And Odo had plenty of questions.

Now, 'lovers' was a concept that Odo had found hard to rationalise. Physical love was a simple, mechanical process, or so he'd been told. Bored once, he'd watched one of Quark's less-risqué holotapes, and had learned anew that there were massive gaps in his knowledge. Sex aside, lovers seemed to be nothing more than very good friends. They did things together, they talked together, they spent time in one another's company. Nothing different from, say, O'Brien and Bashir. But this was a different concept.

This seemed to be an intergender friendship that included sex. By Odo's limited understanding of even two years earlier, he should be able to sleep with Lieutenant Dax. Or with Worf. After all, while he took the shape and form of a Humanoid male, he wasn't sure if Founders actually had genders. But he assumed he was male, for simplicity's sake, and because something deep inside seemed to 'work' that way.

But it wasn't that simple. Oh, no, nothing humanoid could be. First of all, there had to be consent from both sides - a reasonable condition, Odo thought - he knew what it was like to be violated. Secondly, there couldn't be any other relationships with anyone else by either party. This was not only considered bad form, it was a breach of trust, the basic building block of any relationship. Trust was even more important with lovers than it was with any other friendship.

Thinking about it all at once, Odo had to admit there was more to a relationship than he'd ever put together at any one time, and conceded he'd probably never understand it completely.

He heard a slight cough behind him. "Is this seat taken?" It was Kira. Odo stiffened in his chair.

"Please," he managed, gesturing. She sat, and Odo admired her body as she lowered herself into the chair. She had gotten larger while pregnant, a new life growing within her, and it had started Odo thinking: how exactly was he born? He had found the Major strangely attractive, even then. He'd found in some human literature that that was considered normal for some human males. It was a sign of new life, something precious in any culture.

Kira seemed nervous, too, and was fidgeting in her chair. Her hands flittered from one side of the table edge to the other, and finally, she gripped one edge in each hand. The posture seemed slightly aggressive to Odo. "So...we're here," she began lamely. She seemed to be at a loss for words. She was he. She was silent for a minute, and then, as if by mutual consent, they began small talk.

They gossiped for a few minutes, until Kira ran out of things to say. Odo, for his part, had little to talk about, since for the last twenty six ours since the holosuite incident, he hadn't been able to think about much else other than Kira. He'd been so close to grabbing her, and in his dreams she was so close to grabbing him... but that way lies madness. He tried to steer the conversation to work matters, but nothing much had happened on the station for several days. Odo considered bringing up security details for Minister Shakaar's immanent visit, but then reconsidered. If this talk was about them, then HE shouldn't be brought into it.

"Nerys, I've been meaning to ask you about something."

Kira stopped fidgeting, and sat up straighter. "I've got something to talk about, too." She paused; neither wanted to be the one to break the silence. At last, Odo reached, hesitantly, across the table to take Kira's hand. He later swore that they both stopped breathing. Each had been waiting for something like this, that much was obvious. But neither realised how much they wanted it. "I think - I think this might be a little too fast, Odo," she said, finally. "I... I am with Edon."

Odo nodded, and began to pull his hand back, but then Kira's other hand snaked out and grabbed it.

"I didn't say to stop." They held hands while they shared a simple meal in silence, hand in hand, in the crowded replimat. Everyone could see them, but to each other, they were alone, each existing only in the other's eyes. As it was, with the replimat being so crowded, only four pairs of sharp eyes noticed the sudden change in atmosphere, since Kira and Odo having lunch together was nothing new.

Quark was wandering past, wondering how he could entice Rom to fix the replimat's replicators so that they served poor food, thereby encouraging even more people into his bar. As he glanced around the area, his eyes latched onto the pair at a quiet corner table, practically radiating sexual tension. Breaking into a toothy grin, the Ferengi slowly

ran a finger down his left lobe, as he turned and wandered back into the bar, while the romantic in him decided that maybe he should give the constable a break for a day or two.

At a nearby table, Dax and Sisko silently sipped their lunchtime coffee, smiling happily as their friends resolved the relationship. Neither Kira nor Odo had noticed the two other officers, and they were content to leave it that way.

Odo suddenly realised that, while he might not have the faintest idea of where to go from here, if they became lovers, he would have no problem with finding things to do. As they finished the meal, both stood and strolled towards the habitat ring, their hands brushing with almost every step.

In front of the station shrine, Vedek Tolsa rhythmically swept a two metre square area and hummed to himself. Most people, Bajorans included, assumed this was part of a religious ritual, and respectfully stayed away. The reality however, was that the misunderstanding gave the Vedek an uninterrupted half hour of daydreaming, not to mention being able to observe all that was happening on the Promenade. So, as Odo and Kira wandered by, caught up in their own new-found world, Vedek Tolsa managed to get a good look at their expressions, and guessed that, at long last, his two most worrying charges had managed to work out for themselves what everyone else had known for years. Smiling, he went back to sweeping the floor, as Odo and Kira continued their stroll.

********

Odo sat nervously on Kira's lounge as she fussed over their drinks for at least two minutes, before finally walking back to the couch and sitting down. They sipped at their hot coffee in silence for several moments, before Kira seemed to make up her mind. She set her cup down determinedly. "Odo, you and I need to set some ground rules here." Watching him steadily, she smiled slightly as he nodded too. "Technically, I'm still....involved, with Edon, but I've heard the rumors too, and since he's visiting the station next week, I think the time has come for us to part, hopefully still as the best of friends."

"Do you believe that he will accept your wishes?" Odo had seen, only too often, the results of relationship break-ups, and he knew that they were often messy, sometimes violent, and nearly always painful.

"We've been through hell together, and I think that will mean a great deal more than our relationship. Besides, a close friend within a government department has informed me that Shakaar paid a great deal of attention to a young assistant at a recent banquet, and that's enough for me."

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad about that." Odo smiled gently.

A moment later, Kira was in his arms.

A little unsure of what to do next, aside from a burning desire to hold the woman so tight she never escaped, Odo hesitatingly placed his lips on Kira's, and caught his breath at the sudden rush of emotion that the action produced.

Kira meanwhile, was experiencing some of the most incredible emotions she'd ever met in her life, some easily recognisable, and some extremely new. Finally, she broke the kiss to gaze into Odo's eyes, smiling. "Well, I think that's made up my mind." Sitting back, she grimaced at the next thought, "However, as long as I'm still with Edon, I can't be with you."

"I suppose your placing a call tonight would be out of the question?" Odo's voice was hoarse, his breath quick and uneven, and he was feeling a very strange sensation somewhere south of the border. All in all, it was a very worrying experience for an ex-changeling who's most recent sexual encounter involved an incident over twenty years before. These humanoid reactions were completely out of his knowledge, although due to his reading the night before not completely unexpected. Still, they scared him a little.

Kira laughed and shook her head. "No, I won't call him today. Trust me when I tell you that we both need to think about this and make sure it's what we want. I don't want to get into a relationship that's going to die within the month, I couldn't handle that."

"Nerys, I'm not a serene Vedek who listens and gives advice, and I'm not a politician who has power and prestige to offer you. Hell, I'm not even Bajoran. But I am a man, who loves you more than life itself, and all I have to offer you is that love, for the rest of my life." Odo slid over and wrapped his hands around Kira's. "Trust me when I tell you that I'm not going to change my mind in a hurry." Before Kira could reply, he closed his mouth over hers again, this time letting a little of the emotion he felt through, and all but laughed as Kira locked her arms around him, trying to hold him even more tightly against her.

"How long, Odo? How long have you loved me?" Kira buried her face in his neck, small tears forming as her mind replayed all the times she shared with the man holding her, the memories of all the little things he'd done for her haunting Kira's mind.

"Years. I can barely remember a time when I didn't you, Nerys." Odo hesitantly brought his hand up to stroke his love's hair gently, marvelling at the silky touch of it, before bringing his lips down to softly kiss the top of her head. Kira felt the movement and shuddered uncontrollably as all her buried emotions and memories of the occupation surfaced at Odo's tender embrace, and she clutched at him as all the pain, loss, and witnessed death and destruction poured out of her. She sobbed helplessly, clutching at Odo's lithe frame.

Odo froze, afraid he'd hurt Kira somehow, but then slowly realised that his beloved was simply crying out all the anguish she had accumulated over a lifetime's worth of warfare. They sat together, Odo holding Kira as tightly as he could while she wept as if her heart was breaking, and he knew that finally the deepest of the hurts were beginning to heal.

A long time later, Kira's crying died down until she was breathing regularly again, with the occasional snuffle, and leaned back to gaze into Odo's eyes. "Prophets, I must have been blind." A whisp of hair had fallen out of place from around Odo's ear, and Kira gently swept it back where it belonged. She gazed at the man who held her, a loving smile dominating his not-quite-right face. "Odo, I know I'm still with Edon, but...do you think we could.....?"

Kira's voice trailed off. She watched him carefully weigh her words, unaware that she was unconsciously biting her lip in anticipation mingled with concern.

Odo knew that he was taking a chance, trusting that Kira wouldn't betray him, but the man had always made a point of trusting Kira, even all those years ago, and he knew that she would never lie to him again.

Standing, he reached down and helped Kira to her feet. "I think there's something you should know. I've...never done this before. Not really." He looked down at the floor, seemingly embarrassed by his confession.

A small chuckle brought his attention back to Kira. "Well Constable, there's only one way to find out what to do." Taking his hands in hers, Kira slowly walked into her bedroom, Odo trailing behind her, confident to let Nerys lead him onward.

********

Shakaar rubbed his eyes, and glanced at the naked woman sleeping next to him. After a few moments, he stood quietly, and after wrapping a robe around himself, sat on a chair on his veranda, moodily watching the sun rise. He hadn't meant to betray Nerys, but the loneliness..... Sighing, Shakaar tried to put together a speech that would let Kira down gently without causing too much pain. The only real thing he could rely on was the fact that the years of friendship between them would hopefully be stronger than the relationship they had recently shared.

It wasn't that he didn't love Kira. Shakaar simply wanted a woman who could be with him all the time, someone who could share every moment of his life and with whom he could talk any time. With Kira on the station, that was impossible, and when he'd discovered what was in that vial during her last visit, Shakaar no longer was sure that Kira herself knew what she wanted, although the scientist who had scrutinised the vial had told him that it hadn't been used.

Sighing, he glanced around as the woman in his bed stirred and smiled gently. He still didn't know how he wasn't going to break Kira's heart, but he knew that, for both their sakes, they had to part. She deserved better than a man who was a million miles away.

********

Kira was pacing up and down in front of the airlock. Shakaar had left a message while she was on duty that his shuttle would arrive at 1600 hours, so here she was, at 1558 hours, dreading the confrontation that was to come. Making the decision was hard enough, but what was yet to come might be harder still.

Kira heard the airlock doors begin to roll open. She turned, pasting a smile to her face. Shakaar was the third passenger out and at the sight of her, he smiled.

"Nerys. I wasn't sure if you could make it. You're back on normal duties now, aren't you?" He linked her arm through his as they walked down the corridor, while she sighed and smiled up at him.

"Almost. They still insist on cosseting me a bit since the birth."

"And so they should. It's not easy having a baby."

"And what would you know about it? Or is there something in your past I'm not aware of?"

"There's not a lot of my past that you don't know. So, do you have to go back on duty today?"

"No, I'm off now until tomorrow morning."

Shakaar smiled, "Fine. Do you want to go to Quark's or the replimat?"

Kira paused, then smiled hesitantly again. "You decide for once." Maybe she could put off the deed that had to be done for just a little longer, and somehow that might make it easier.

"Alright, we'll go to Quark's." Shakaar walked almost cheerfully down the corridor with Kira, giving no hint of the turmoil within him, and praying desperately that Kira would bring up anything about their relationship over dinner. If he could find some way of stretching the meal out somehow, then maybe the speech later wouldn't be so hard.

********

Later that evening, they walked down the corridor towards Kira's quarters. Kira knew she'd not been acting her usual self, but she was worried sick at how Shakaar would react to her decision. They paused at the door to her quarters, and Kira knew that this in itself was unusual, as she looked up at Shakaar's serious face.

"Nerys?"

"Come in. I need to talk to you."

"I had that feeling."

All of a sudden the evening had gone from the mainly light-hearted banter to something darker. Neither knowing the person they were with anymore.

They sat down and faced each other, neither sure where to begin. At last they began talking at the same time.

"Nerys I..."

"Edon, we really..."

They stopped and laughed self-consciously, Shakaar motioning for Kira to speak first.

"Edon...." Kira paused, and Shakaar realised it was one of the very few times he'd seen her at a loss for words.

"Something's wrong."

A spasm of relief passed over Kira's face. "Yes. Our relationship... It hasn't been what it was for a while now, has it?"

"No." His voice was quiet, subdued. "We never pretended that a long distance relationship was easy."

"Especially when we're not even on the same planet." Nerys smiled and received one in return which encouraged her to go on. "We're so far away. It's very hard when problems arise."

"I know. Would I be making a bad joke if I said the distance between us has been growing?" He smiled. Kira appreciated his attempt to make this easier on her, but it was almost having the opposite effect. As she struggled to remember the speech she'd rehearsed earlier in her mind, he spoke into the silence. "Nerys, I know we've been friends for a long time, and there is nothing I value more in this world." He paused then looked her straight in the eye, "But I think we both know that as far as being lovers is concerned, it's over."

The words had hung between them for a long time, when Kira took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right. It is over, and I think it's been that way for a long time." Suddenly the air was clear, and the only people in the room were two old friends who felt like they'd walked a nightmare together and somehow come out on the other side.

A few minutes later, they were sitting at the table, steaming mugs of coffee in their hands and chatting like the old friends they were. "I guess that we both wanted someone who would understand the pressure we were under." Shakaar glanced at Kira and was rewarded with a smiling nod.

"And we decided it was each other." Kira gazed into her mug for a few moments then smiled ruefully. "Edon, I'd be lying if I didn't say...it wasn't fun while it lasted." Kira reached out and held Shakaar's hand tightly. "You helped mend my broken heart, and that means a lot."

"I know." He grinned back tiredly. "But I think that we both knew it wouldn't last, even then." He pulled his hand away and appeared to think for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "There is more. Recently I met a young woman and we've....." He trailed off as understanding dawned in Kira's eyes. "I didn't want you to hear about us by a rumour, or think that I didn't care about you and what we've had."

"I understand." Nerys looked up, a small smile playing around her lips. "I have a confession too. Recently I discovered that I have feelings for someone on the station." Kira looked nervously at her old friend. "It's Odo."

"Odo?" Shakaar stared at her in amazement. "But.. he isn't even Human, let alone Bajoran." He couldn't have been more stunned if Kira had told him that she was planning to enter a monastery. "Nerys, what ever possessed you?"

"Edon, listen very carefully, because I'll only say this once: Odo loves me, he's loved me for years, but until last week I was too blind to notice. It took the baby before I realised that I wanted something better. We both know that our relationship was a mistake, so why are you upset that I've found someone else?"

"It's just..." Shakaar honestly couldn't think of a believable reason, and eventually gave up. "I hope you're both happy together, just be careful, that's all. There are a lot of people on Bajor who don't like

the idea of Bajorans being intimate with non-Bajorans."

Kira nodded. "We'll be careful, don't worry. But most of the Bajorans on the station are here because they don't mind working and living with other races."

"As long as you know the risks. You and Odo will always be welcome on Bajor in my books, Nerys." The First Minister smiled, stood, and stretched. "Well, if you have no objections I'll go back to my quarters, since the trade negotiations start tomorrow, and I don't want to be unprepared."

"You're quarters are already arranged." Kira walked with Shakaar through the habitat ring, finally pausing at the door of the largest of the station's guest-quarters. "I have to go. I promised Odo that I'd let him know how this meeting went, and you should probably call your young woman too." As she turned away, a thought occurred to her. "By the way, how did you decide we were finished?"

Shakaar smiled. "I'd been worried for a long time, but it was the incident with the hypospray that did it. Did you really want a baby that badly?"

"Not now, but then....I wanted to be needed." Kira shrugged hopelessly. "A strange reason, I know. But now I have someone who needs me, so a baby isn't really on my mind anymore."

"Good. I don't think you're ready to be a mother yet." Shakaar saw a question in Kira's eyes, but knew she was too polite to ask it. "Her name is Rensai Lorrell, and she works for the Bajoran Diplomatic Corps."

"Ah." Kira chuckled to herself. "Then you won't be asking me to go on any more diplomatic assignments for you, will you?"

"Probably not." Shakaar grinned with Kira, then impulsively reached out and hugged her tightly. "Go. Go to your friend and be with someone who can care for you all the time, that's what you really need."

Kira didn't say a word. She stepped back and watched as Shakaar entered his quarters alone. It was over, and she was relieved that she had managed to not only break up with him, but also keep their friendship

intact. Turning, she marched back down the corridor and headed unerringly towards Odo's rooms.

********

Odo's fingers tapped nervously on his computer console as he wondered how Kira's talks with Shakaar were progressing. He had wanted them both to face the First Minister, but Nerys had insisted on seeing him alone, leaving Odo to worry about how Shakaar might react to the news. Which was why he jumped when the door chime rang and Kira quietly entered the room.

She stopped at the expression on Odo's face, wondering at the worry there. Then in one swift movement she was in his arms, holding him tight. "It's okay, he understood. It turns out that Edon has been thinking that our relationship was over for a very long time now, and he wanted to talk to me about ending things cleanly too."

"So you didn't have to break up with him after all?" The man's face was awash with relief as he held her to his chest, his emotions finally calming down.

"No, it was a mutual decision." Nerys leaned back and watched Odo's seemingly unfinished face, gazing into his deep, ice-blue eyes. "So we can stop worrying about anyone else and concentrate on us." Reaching up, Kira placed a soft kiss on Odo's lips. "And I want to spend a lot of attention on us tonight."

"So do I." Odo felt like he was in a dream as he picked her up and carried her through into a side room where he stopped and smiled as Nerys gasped in surprise and slipped from his arms to stand on her own, staring at the new object in what had previously been an almost empty bedroom.

The bed was huge, taking up a full half of the room. A set of slim cupboards stood on either side of the door, leaving the bed standing in solitary splendour. It was designed in what Kira called 'comfortable and reliable'. The boards were thick and strong, with simple Bajoran designs carved into them, leaving only the headboard with a single intricate carving of the Bajoran religious symbol in it.

Kira's jaw dropped, and she gaped at the bed, slowly walking around it, running a hand over the frictionless red sheets, before turning to Odo

in amazement. "This....this is incredible. When did it arrive?"

"This afternoon, while you were on duty." Odo's hands tugged at the quilted sheet, pulling it down the bed, but he suddenly seemed very nervous, causing a smile to appear on Kira's face.

Kicking off her shoes, she sat on the bed and watched him carefully. Suddenly several things became clear. Reaching out, the woman gently took Odo's hands in hers. "You're still nervous, aren't you?"

"Yes." The man sat on the opposite side of the bed, nervously fidgeting with the quilt. "Even after the last week, I still can't believe that we're together," Odo was looking everywhere but at Kira, his fear gouged across his face, "A long time ago, the female Founder told me that you could never love me."

"Odo, I'm sorry." Kira scooted across the bed to hold him tightly, wishing she could take the pain away, "If I hadn't been such an idiot, we could have been together for years now."

"Why are you sorry? It wasn't your fault." Odo felt a shiver run

through him and suddenly his hands were undoing the zipper on Kira's jacket, and he had to pull on all his will-power to stop. "I hardly gave you any encouragement about how I felt. But that's the past now, and if there's anything we've both learnt, it's that you can't hold the past."

"Even though it's made you...like this?" Kira gently stroked Odo's hair and began slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt, as Odo nodded.

"Even that. If the Founders hadn't made me Human, I might never have had the chance to be with you like this." The man smiled and gazed at Kira lovingly. "You're all I want Nerys, all I'll ever want."

"Prophets Odo, what did I ever do right to deserve you?" The pain left Kira's eyes as she traced Odo's face with her finger, as the man dipped his head to kiss her deeply, his hands once again starting their tantalising removal of her clothes.

"Whatever did I do to deserve you?" Odo gently pushed Nerys onto her back and leaned over her, smiling. "Right now, I think I like those Prophets of yours."

********

Kira was relaxing in Quark's and sipping her coffee, lazily watching the world go by, when Dax walked in and spotted her in the corner. Walking over to her, Dax cast a canny eye over her, before her face took on a knowing grin as she sat down at the table.

"So, I can safely assume that you and Odo are......?" The grin on Dax's face became even wider as Kira nodded. "Nerys, that's wonderful! I've been dropping subtle hints about how he felt about you for years, but you never seemed to notice."

"I didn't think that Odo could be interested in me." Kira smiled at her friend before blushing slightly. "But after the last week, I know better."

"I want details!" Dax faced Kira determinedly as they both laughed. "I'm happy for both of you, you'll be good for each other."

"I just hope it lasts." Kira stared into her drink, suddenly sombre. "I've had three relationships start in three years, and the last two haven't worked out that well."

"It'll be alright." Dax held Kira's hands tightly. "Odo practically worships the ground you walk on, he's been in love with you for a long time now." Dax was about to say more, when she felt a presence behind her. Glancing around, she found herself looking into the face of Constable Odo. "Odo! Just the man we were talking about."

"Nothing bad I hope?" Odo sat next to Kira and seemed oblivious to her blushing face as Dax continued to grin at them like a maniac.

"No, not at all." Dax somehow managed to tone her grin down to a respectable smile. "I was just asking how you were, since I've barely seen you these last few days." She was sure she could make an educated guess at the reason for Odo's absence from the Promenade at night for the last week, but decided against any crude comments, especially with her superior officer sitting opposite. "Nerys tells me that the two of you have recently become close.... friends."

Odo shot a swift glance at his lover, but relaxed as she nodded slowly. "That's right. I trust you have no objections?" Odo didn't understand why he felt a desire to burst into laughter.

"None. In fact, I want to be a bridesmaid at your wedding." Jadzia smiled brightly, then realised why Odo looked so nervous. "Odo, you can laugh if you like. It's the body's way of dealing with stress." Raising her eyebrows, she sighed as the man barely cracked a smile, and rolled her eyes at Kira. "Nerys, haven't you taught him about being Human yet?"

"Give me time, it's only been a week." Kira leaned back and sipped, then grimaced, at her cold coffee. "It's time I was back in Ops. Dax, I'll see you after your lunch break, and you," Kira bent down and kissed Odo solidly for at least a minute. "I'll see you tonight."

"Count on it." Odo grinned cheerfully as his lover swaggered away, but his expression sobered when he turned back and saw Dax examining him as if he were an extremely fascinating bug in her science lab. "What?"

"Something's wrong, and you haven't told Nerys." The Trill spoke with such conviction that for a moment, Odo was convinced she was able to read his mind. "What is it, and is it going to break her heart?"

"No, it won't break Kira's heart, it's not another woman." Odo stared at the table for a moment, then looked sadly at her. "Dax, I'm not a man, not a full one."

"Are you telling me that you can't.....?" Dax 's expression was one of confusion as she made a suggestive gesture. A horrified expression crossed Odo's face and he glanced around quickly, checking to see that no-one had heard or seen Dax's reaction to his statement.

"No, that's not a problem, everything's working just as it should." He paused. "Well, Nerys says it is. It's being......human, that's the problem." He gazed at Dax and saw she didn't understand. Sighing, he tried to explain. "I know that if it wasn't for what I've become, then I probably wouldn't have developed this relationship with Nerys, but it's not enough anymore. I want to be what I was again, a Changeling. All I remember is what I was, and what I had, and how that was stolen from me. And until I return to what I was, I won't feel like a man again."

Dax sat gazing at her friend for a long time, before sighing and glancing around. "Odo, I don't know of any way to make you a shape-shifter again, and I doubt if Julian does either. The only thing I know that could even remotely perform an operation like that is a transporter, but even then......" Dax's voice trailed off. A thoughtful look set in on her face.

Odo looked at her, puzzled, and for several minutes silence reigned. Suddenly, Dax stood and grabbed Odo's arm. "Come on, we're going to see Julian. I think I've thought of a way to make you a shape-shifter again."

"What, how?" Odo demanded as the Trill practically dragged him along the Promenade to the Infirmary, where she simply barged in without warning, almost knocking over a departing medic.

Odo gave the medic an apologetic smile as Dax marched up to Bashir and stated, "I've just had a thought."

"An only child, I presume?" Bashir turned his chair around and smiled at Dax's expression. "So, what can I do for the two of you?" He indicated that Dax and Odo should follow him into his office, and gazed expectantly at them as they sat down.

"Did you ever study computer enhanced bio-replacement treatment at the Academy?" Dax leaned forward excitedly, her eyes glinting, while Odo shrugged at Julian in total ignorance.

"Yes, but it was and still is a very new concept in medicine. In fact, I don't think it's even past the clinical stages yet. Trials are still taking place." Julian, normally totally confident in his field, was displaying uncharacteristic caution. "I've certainly never had to attempt anything even remotely like it, bio-regeneration and cyber-implants have been sufficient to fulfil all our medical requirements so far. Why are you asking me this?"

"What if you weren't replacing just a limb, but if it were a whole person. Their entire DNA and RNA sequence." Dax grinned at the disbelief that was crossing both Bashir and Odo's faces. "Wouldn't the experimental technique cover that kind of medical need?"

"You're insane." Julian could hardly believe his ears as he stared at Dax in astonishment. "You're talking about re-writing an entire genetic sequence from the ground up. DNA, RNA, amino acids, the whole system of life. Even if it could be done, why would I want to do it?"

"Because Odo needs you to. He was condemned by his people to a Humanoid life on warped evidence, and I don't see why he should have to stay that way." Dax glanced at Odo and smiled briefly "Besides, a man should have the opportunity to be what he was born to be."

"I don't understand," Julian whispered softly, glancing from Dax to Odo, and back. "But I'll look into the reports on the technique and let you know what I think. I assume you want to know if it's possible for me to return Odo's DNA to it's original form, thereby giving him back his abilities?"

"That's what I had in mind." Dax stood and smiled brightly, "I have to get back to Ops, but I'll call back tonight." As the Trill moved to leave, Odo spoke up for the first time.

"Jadzia, please don't mention this to Nerys. I don't want her to know about it until Doctor Bashir makes his decision."

"All right, I won't mention it." As Dax left, Odo shook his head, and turned to find a very worried-looking Bashir watching him carefully.

"Constable, I need to ask two questions: One, do you really want this if it's possible, and two, why do you want this?" Bashir looked at the former changeling keenly, and noted the eyes shadowed by a pain that must have come from the soul itself.

"Doctor, I know that you've made every effort to help me adjust to being Humanoid, and I appreciate those efforts. But I can't live like this anymore, even with all I've gained. The experience has been a fascinating one, but I can't endure any more." He dropped his eyes to the table top, "Not even with Nerys with me."

"Nerys?" Bashir's voice broke into his reverie, and as Odo raised his eyes, the Human understood. "I see. Kira is a good woman, and she doesn't enter relationships lightly. I'm sure that she would give you all the strength she could."

"I know." Odo was silent for a moment, then suddenly straightened and looked steadily at the man, "But I need to be true to myself. I need to be myself again. Please look into the treatment that Dax has mentioned, and let me know the results."

Odo stood and left without a backward glance, while Julian slowly stood and muttered an ancient Earth phrase. "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din."

********

Kira walked into her quarters and smiled at the man lying on the couch. Since the start of their relationship, the two of them had spent most of their time in Odo's rooms, but tonight, for some reason, he had asked that they go to hers.

Sitting on the lounge behind him, Kira gently began massaging Odo's neck, her hands instinctively finding and kneading the tight muscles, as Odo groaned quietly and leant back into her. "Long day at the office?" Kira kissed Odo's neck, never slowing her working hands, while Odo reached around behind him and stroked her legs.

"A....difficult day, you might say, but no work that was out of the

ordinary." Odo wasn't quite sure what to say after the conversation he'd had with Bashir late that afternoon.

"Odo?" Kira's voice dragged him back to the present, and he chuckled slightly.

"It's all right, I was just thinking about something that happened today." Spinning, he turned in one smooth movement to face his lover. "Nerys, how would you feel if I told you that there was a way for me to become a Changeling again?"

Kira sat, stunned, her hands listless in her lap. The thought that Odo could ever become a Changeling again had never really occurred to her. She knew that Odo wanted to be a Changeling again, everyone knew it, but that there was actually a chance that his dream could come true was almost beyond comprehension for the young Bajoran.

"How is it possible?" Kira was barely able to form a coherent sentence.

"Dax and Bashir have told me about a new medical treatment, but it's still in the theoretical stage, and if anything goes wrong...." Odo's voice trailed off. He didn't need to say any more, Kira could well imagine the results.

"What sort of treatment is it? Do they give you medication or surgery?" Kira was terrified at the thought of losing him so soon after their relationship had started, but also understood that this would possibly be the most important decision of his life. "Will the treatment take very long?"

Odo took a deep breath, and grasped Kira's hands tighter. "Bashir says that the only way to....cure me, is to use a transporter to mix my neural patterns with my old DNA in the buffer, and then recreate me within the transporter." He looked at the floor as Kira choked back a sob. "If it doesn't work, then I'll be lost when the buffer depolarises." Odo looked back at Kira, and suddenly realised they were both crying. "I want this so much it hurts, but I don't know if I could stand the thought of losing you when I've only just...." Odo's voice trailed off again as he buried his face in Kira's shoulder and cried as though his heart was breaking.

Nerys was doing the same.

A long moment later, they leaned back, arms still locked around each others waist. Snuffling slightly, Kira tried to regain her composure. "Odo, you have to do this, whatever the risk. The Founders had no right to do this to you, to condemn you to this kind of life. If Julian can give you back your existence, then you have to take the chance."

"Even if it means losing you?" Odo's hands were gently stroking Kira's hair. He seemed to be trying to memorise everything about her, to etch every detail into his mind.

Kira nodded and fought back tears again. "Even that. I can live with myself if you die trying to regain your life. But I couldn't cope with knowing that you didn't take the risk because of me."

Odo shook his head and smiled. "Nerys, have I told you how much I love you recently?"

Kira laughed, and wiped her eyes. "I think I heard you say it last night. But maybe you should refresh my memory."

Picking her up, Odo slowly walked into the bedroom and loved Kira as if every moment was their last together.

********

Dax looked somewhat doubtful as she studied her console screens once more, for what seemed like the trillionth time. Odo didn't like the look on her face. The risk was also too great to even consider... normally. But Odo had been doing some talking with the male members of the command crew, and they agreed that, sometimes, one had to feel like a man.

And, at the moment, Odo was only half a man.

Since his shapeshifting abilities had been stolen by his own people, he'd been on edge. Not being able to morph away into the shadows or light when things went against him was slowly killing him. He liked the sensations of being a 'normal' human, but he realised he wasn't complete without his changeling side. He was afraid. He wasn't a Man.

It wasn't like things would never be the same again. No, he could replicate human sensations and emotions within his normal body, he realised now; he'd just been too scared to admit it to himself. If he'd wanted to, he could very easily pass for human, but he'd grown attached to his 'no-face'. It was part of him, it explained him. But it wasn't a real human face. If he had access to his abilities, he would have been able to be anyone for the love of his life. She might not want him to, but one never knew. Dax had told him that sometimes fantasy was as important in a relationship as the actual feelings behind it.

With his changeling abilities back, Odo would not only be a Man again, he would also feel in control of his life once more, and he would have something he could offer Kira that no one else could.

Dax walked over to where Odo was sitting, on the chair hooked up to the main computer core of DS9. Energy suffusion and core DNA resequencers began warming up in the back of the chair, while the computer core ran through massive amounts, terabytes and exabytes, of old medical records of Odo's, rebuilding his DNA matrices from the ground up. The medical computer was busy making sure that every available piece of information about Odo's original 'body' was available to be accessed by the transporter. Power ground throughout the room, and occasionally leaped up from the floor to Dax's knees. Odo was insulated on his chair from electrical bolts.

In accordance with Dax's plans, the station had been deserted, under the guise of a complete station overhaul and military exercises. The only problems had been finding accommodation for Garak and Ziyal, but they had eventually been housed at the Federation embassy on Bajor. Sisko had reluctantly agreed to evacuate everyone, knowing what was about to happen, but pretending he didn't, so the military excuse had to be used for the reason why all communications were channelled through the Defiant instead of the station.

"Do you feel comfortable?" the Trill asked, as if a man strapped down into what was going to amount to little more than an electric chair would feel at home.

Odo nodded. All things considered, the pain he was expecting to feel, the life he might lead once more, the small angle of chair poking into his spine could be ignored. "Fine, Commander. Let's just get on with it."

Dax gave Odo a final look, and the changeling saw something in it he couldn't place. It looked like concern, or love... or a mixture of the two. "I think you must love Kira very much to go through with this." she said before retreating behind an insulated shield. It was a physical barrier, since all available station power would be channelled into Odo. "When I throw this switch, Odo, there'll be no turning back... for either of us." The last part of the sentence was spoken with such finality that Odo thought she sounded all of her three hundred years.

Not that Dax expected to live through the experience. Odo had wanted her to go with the others, insisting that he could push the button himself, but Dax had put her foot down and insisted that he let her stay, since he wouldn’t be in any condition to monitor the power supply while he was in the buffer.

Odo nodded again. "If it doesn't work, will you make sure that Nerys......" Odo's voice trailed off as Dax walked back around to stand next to him again. He couldn't say any more, but his face spoke volumes.

Dax nodded slowly. She wanted to place a hand on Odo's shoulder, but chances were that she'd probably end up electrocuting both of them. So she just smiled understandingly. "I'll tell her, I promise."

There was nothing more to say after that, so Dax punched in her command code, and her thumb played over the control. She didn't want to do this, not really, but she'd promised Odo. And he was convinced that this was the only way he could feel useful in a relationship with Kira. She didn't really understand why, Odo just didn't feel... right... without his shapeshifting.

With a decisiveness her symbiont had never known before, Dax stabbed her thumb down on the button, activating the cycle that would rapidly bring the station's two working fusion reactors up to power, and begin channelling it through the infirmary’s gene sequencers. Odo straightened in pain, and screamed when he rammed himself back on the chair as an unfinished piece snapped into his spine. He could feel warm blood trickling down his back, and knew he'd been hurt badly. But his physical injury was nothing compared to the breakdown of his basic amino acids.

He dissolved from the chair in the swirl of a transporter matter stream as it broke him down into discrete packets of energy DNA helixes. The transporter systems routed his information through the main computer core, taking spare memory from whereever it could, and took Odo on a roller coaster ride through the Infirmary computers and sequencers. His new genetic code was pulled to pieces, his RNA shunted to one side along with his neural patterns, and his genes were combined with his old genes as the transporter, as programmed, integrated Bashir's medical files of Odo into creating a new pattern for his memories, intelligence, feelings.

The transporter heaved as the DNA resequencers spliced off the 'new' DNA Odo had acquired from his people and brought the 'old' DNA into the pattern buffer tanks. Finally, light spiralled down on the chair as the computers wound down, and the reactors shut off. Odo appeared, still strained in agony against the chair straps. Blood pooled down around the base of the chair, soaked into Odo's uniform.

Dax hurried forward with a medical kit, and unstrapped him, pulled him off the chair into a position where gravity would do no more injury to his spine than necessary. Odo spasmed as he came to, seeing Dax checking his wound. He closed his eyes, concentrated, and heard the Trill give a small gasp. He could feel himself being pulled back together, a sensation of liquid mercury running to fill a hole on a downward slope.

It was then that Odo felt like a man again.

********

The Defiant hung motionless in space, its crew watching in horror as static electricity played along the docking pylons. Kira gave a strangled sob in her chair and turned away from the viewscreen, as Bashir wrapped an arm around her shoulders, trying to give her as much support as he could, while they watched what was probably the death of their friends. Finally the lights stopped, and one by one, DS9's normal docking lights winked back on.

"Sisko to Dax. Is anyone alive down there?" The Captain practically whispered over the comm line, not really expecting an answer.

So it was a huge sigh of relief that went up when Dax's cheerful voice came back with, "Alive? You wouldn't believe what a rush that was! We're both alive, well I think we are." Everyone held their collective breath again. "You see, I seem to be standing next to this puddle of orange goo that looks very much like a regenerating Changeling."

The final words of the statement were lost in the whoops of relief that went up from the ship’s crew, while Kira simply let her head hit the console, feeling more drained than she had in a very long time. Bashir, ever the doctor, quickly ran a tricorder over Kira, nodding at the results, before gently pulling her to her feet.

"Come on, we need to get over there. I want to make sure Dax and Odo are all right, and I think Odo will want to see you as soon as possible."

Turning to O'Brien, the man raised a questioning eyebrow. "Is it safe to transport over Chief?"

O'Brien studied his screens and nodded. "All the interference has drained away now, although it's blown circuits all over the station. It's going to take me a week to get everything working at minimum standards again."

"Just as long as we can have everyone back onboard by tomorrow night." Sisko stood and moved to the door with Kira and Bashir. "Mr Worf, you have the conn. Dock as soon as possible and begin assisting the Chief with repairs."

A minute later, Dax looked up from where she was kneeling next to Odo and smiled as three transporter signals coalesced into Sisko, Bashir, and a very nervous Kira. Bashir rushed over and immediately began scanning the puddle of Odo, while Dax told the captain and the first officer exactly what happened.

"This is incredible, it's going to turn the Vulcan Science Academy completely on its collective ears." Doctor Bashir was gushing as he took continual scans of Odo's regeneration, pushing the tricorder to the very limits of its capacity. "Do you know if his neural patterns were re-integrated with his new form, or didn't Odo speak when he was reformed?"

"He didn't speak, but I got the impression that everything was as it should be." Dax glanced at Kira and heard the sharp intake of breath as the Bajoran realised that the man on the floor might not be the man she knew. "He'll be fine, Nerys, I know he will."

"I hope so." Kira glanced around as an engineering crew, headed by Chief O'Brien, walked onto the deck and swiftly began pulling off access panels to repair the damaged computer parts. "Let's get him into the Infirmary, before more people start arriving. This was supposed to be a secret exercise after all."

"Fine." Dax manoeuvred a specimen tub that had been placed especially nearby closer to Odo, and tipped it on its side. Crouching down, neither Dax nor Bashir were sure how to proceed, until Kira knelt down and, running her hand through Odo's substance, gently scooped up a handful of liquid Odo and trailed it into the tub. It seemed to work, as the rest of the Changeling followed suit and moments later, all of him was safely ensconced in the Infirmary, being monitored by every piece of equipment that Bashir could find power for, and those he couldn't he powered through all available tricorders.

"It's like the birth of a new Changeling, his entire chemical makeup has been jump-started from the beginning." The doctor would have continued, but he saw the dirty look Kira gave him, and wisely decided to keep his excitement to himself.

Sisko also caught the look, and cleared his throat. "Major, I doubt very much whether you will be needed for the next day or so in Ops, since it seems to be mainly Engineering that's going to be busy, so if you wish to stay here, it's fine with me."

Nodding, Kira pulled up a chair and stationed herself determinedly between two beeping machines. "I'd like to be here, at least for when he wakes up the first time, provided Doctor Bashir doesn't object?"

Julian shrugged and smiled brightly. "Not at all, it'll mean that I have some company as I write up the progress reports." At the Human's agreement, Kira leaned over the rim of the tub and settled in for the long haul, while after a last look, Dax and Sisko headed up to Ops.

********

Nurse Pol gently shook Kira's shoulder and wordlessly handed her another cup of coffee, before checking the instruments then retreating back to the main room. It had been over twelve hours since Odo had reverted to his true form, and aside from the occasional stirring in the tub, always as Kira trailed her hand along the top of the liquid Changeling, there had been no change in Odo's condition.

Bashir walked in and gazed worriedly into the tub, before glancing back at Kira. "Is there anything you can do to get a reaction from him? I just need to know what's going on and whether he's all right."

"I could try taking my clothes off, that seemed to work before." Kira answered with a straight face, but couldn't help smiling as Bashir's eyes bulged slightly. "I was joking, Julian. I doubt that even that would help here."

"At the risk of being crude, any man that wouldn't react to that is dead!" He smiled cheerfully and was glad to see that Kira cracked a smile with him, when suddenly the goo in the tub heaved itself into a column, shot out of the container, and seconds later, a weak-looking but very much alive Changeling was standing next to Kira, smiling.

"I apologise for my delay in reforming, but I needed to let my cells settle down again after my return to this form." Turning to Kira, he gently grasped her hands and looked worriedly into her eyes. "I know that this is a big change in our relationship, and I want you to know that....that if you change your mind about us, I'll understand."

Kira stood stock still for a minute, then a ferocious scowl crossed her face. "Change my mind! I'm not letting you get out of this that easily, Constable." Reaching up, she pulled Odo's face down and kissed him passionately. "I love you Odo, and whether you're a Changeling or a Humanoid, nothing's going to change that."

Bashir cleared his throat, reminding them both of his presence. "Well, if I could interrupt for a moment, Odo, please lie on that bio-bed, and after I've run a few scans, I'll release you into Major Kira's care."

"Make them quick doctor," Odo squeezed his lovers hands tightly, before sitting tiredly on the nearby bed. "I want to sleep in my own bed tonight, and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold this shape." As Bashir called in his medical team and set to work, Odo glanced nervously at Kira then smiled as she gripped his hand tighter. He had beaten the Founders, and everything was all right now.

********

It was actually another two days before Bashir agreed to release Odo from the Infirmary, and even then only on the condition that he return every morning for the next week for a check-up. The Changeling grumbled slightly at the imposition, but finally agreed to the conditions. No-one knew exactly what happened between Kira and Odo that night, but when she cancelled her quarters requisition the next morning and moved in with Odo, the general station consensus was that Major Kira had managed to get herself the best of all worlds.

At the end of the week Odo put his foot down and refused any more scans on the grounds that he was fine and yes, if there were any problems at all he or Nerys would contact Bashir immediately. That afternoon, Dax and Kira went on one of their medieval holosuite adventures. Unfortunately, the holo-program had been slightly corrupted by the recent power surge, and 'accidentally' served the women real alcohol.

The next day, Kira and Odo were sitting in Quark's when Dax wandered by, stopped, came back, and stared at Odo for a good five minutes, before turning to Kira and speaking with growing amazement. "It's impossible. He'd have to defy gravity!"

Kira turned the same colour as her uniform, Dax gazed at Odo with amused astonishment, while Odo just looked at both of them and wondered what was going on.

"There is a joy in the journey, there's a light we can love on the way. There is a wonder and a wildness to life, and freedom for those who obey."

--old Bajoran song, written by Kira Tarren.

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